Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Today, after I packed my lunch last night and put it in the fridge, I grabbed my bag and left for work. At lunchtime, I opened it and found an empty container. I'd packed the container but left the food in the fridge. FML
Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML
Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML
Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
evanvoss 20
Step 1: Poison your lunch Step 2: Take his position Step 3: Profit
UsagiArwen 23
This would be the part where I'd have to sit down with my boss and have a serious conversation. Because that's a load of crap on your boss's part.
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Comments (85)
Blissment 12
sounds like he needs a fist sandwich
Brair 3
You need to either talk to Hr and or look for another job. You now know exactly how much your boss respects you. If that sob does that you can surely expect them to smear you.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
Don't use the fridge. Get a cooler bag. Problem solved.
Som3Rand0mGam3r 9
I say rat poison and antifreeze =)
Gemfez 17
That might be going too far
Gemfez 17
You need to start taking some special lunch to work
moddylion 1
Do you live in a Friends episode?
Blindfox 4
I actually had a coworker who did that to me and anyone who left anything in the fridge. I got so fed up that I left a sandwich that I hacked a loogie into, and dropped into the toilet. The next day I saw it was gone, the best feeling in the world was seeing the look on his face when I told him.
scottishoatmeal 22
Did it have the moist maker?
ReRage 13
Time to spike it with laxatives!
dakoster4 1
I believe you could report him to HR for theft of personal possessions at that point if you had someone to collaborate you seeing him with your food.