titans617230

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Titans617230's favorite FMLs

By happybirthday - 12/08/2012 05:49 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

agreeclassic 52 582

vote type 1 3 481

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

agreeclassic 7 442

vote type 1 50 558

Touched by the Hand of God

By lils - 05/08/2012 17:45 - United States

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

agreeclassic 42 203

vote type 1 3 107

Don't feed the trolls

By pathetic - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote, "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

agreeclassic 16 288

vote type 1 57 197

Special ingredient

By Laviolette - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

agreeclassic 12 309

vote type 1 40 500