Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML
Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML
Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML
Today, I drove a different work vehicle, one with the cupholder right behind the gear lever. After multiple accidental attempts at changing gears with my Coke bottle, I threw it out the window in a temper. I then got busted for littering. FML
Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I saw a man dump a bag of trash into the creek. Furious, I shouted at him, and when he shoved me, I threw him into the creek. Later, I was arrested and charged with battery. FML
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Top comments
P374RD3D 9
Watch out, we got a badass over here.
SeahorseGuy 7
I like the environment and would normally applaud what you did (I do applaud what you did, good job), but I'd never do that.
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Comments (129)
upintheorange 5
YDI for feeling that much guilt over plastic. Of course it's good to recycle, but one bottle will not change the world, and it's not worth digging in a nasty trash can.
desireev 18
38- Hey now! Keep in mind... One million begins with one! :) On a serious note, if people started feeling guilt over all of the small, bad things they did and corrected their mistakes, the world would be a much better place. Just my opinion... What does it matter anyway? :)
Evaloscity 6
#42 You just contradicted yourself. You're saying people should care more, yet you said what does it matter anyway? So, OTHER people should care, but you don't? Hmm.
tiff99_fml 6
You're an idiot.
desireev 18
41- And you're rude for calling someone an idiot for correcting their mistake.
DoubleBlumpkin 4
You have certainly earned this weeks Ricky Badass of the Week award! Congrats....
LittleGreenPaola 23
Just a little bit psycho...
KunoKanashimi 3
You didn't choose the thug life, OP, the thug life chose you.
imavelociraptor 6
No we don't
charlotte178 4
Watch out we got a badass over here
Missusluv313 9
This is one of the dumbest things I've heard someone do lately. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Smh. Yeah, your life does suck..
Alliente 9
Watch out, we have a... Oh, nevermind, false alarm.
Zano23 9
Wow! That was so badass of you, op.