Work: Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed... - FML

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 084

You deserved it 3 982

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Same thing different taste

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 155

You deserved it 2 529

Close

By Anonymous - 10/12/2018 22:00

Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 429

You deserved it 1 259

By Anonymous - 08/08/2018 20:30

Today, at 9 o’clock in the morning while I was working, I made the mistake of being comfortable with a machine that literally bends and breaks steel bars. I lost my entire middle finger and the top third of my pinky and ring fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 721

You deserved it 1 549

ER time

By sero - 10/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 120

By AHHH_REPTAR - 23/06/2016 04:54 - United States - Spearfish

Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 1 392

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 265

You deserved it 6 091

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 11 923

By Bullocks - 27/04/2012 05:49 - United States - Rochester

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 258

You deserved it 4 444

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 739

You deserved it 3 620

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 788

You deserved it 812

Next

Top comments

gonad_gobbler 1

Thursday 24 May 2012 23:02

who has 1 and 3/4 a thumb and just ruined the safety demonstration? *points to himself* this guy.

Headcrab 29

Thursday 24 May 2012 22:58

Well now you know what NOT to do :-)

Comments

tony1891 22

Friday 25 May 2012 0:21

well. now everyone at work will know who NOT to come to for safety tips.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 25 May 2012 3:35

Or fingertips.

RadioOctopus 16

Friday 25 May 2012 0:24

Why is everyone getting their skin cut off

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 25 May 2012 14:20

Peer pressure.

biglittlehead 12

Friday 25 May 2012 0:28

You could be best friends with the guy from Arbys or wherever it was where the worker cut their finger off and it went in a sandwich.

quontag 15

Friday 25 May 2012 0:38

You need to be more safe

mollysticks 10

Friday 25 May 2012 0:38

First the ear, then the thumb.

xdissizit 16

Friday 25 May 2012 2:25

This reminds me of when that video where a DEA agent shot himself in the foot while telling people not to play with guns.

hqbrat 8

Friday 25 May 2012 2:32

Good thing you were in safety school ;)

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 25 May 2012 3:33

Describe the pain...

K_STR2234 6

Friday 25 May 2012 5:15

At least you can still post :)

rartuin270 1

Friday 25 May 2012 6:00

I did something similar. My boss wanted to make sure we looked busy for a corporate safety inspection. I decided to wipe down the counters where I worked and ended up cutting my thumb open as they were standing behind me.

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The Top

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 78

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 810

The Top

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 577

You deserved it 3 572

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 343

You deserved it 3 204

Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 2 654

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 3 819

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 546

You deserved it 19 429

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 021

You deserved it 4 582