thwack
United States
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Chef stupid
Houston, United States
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Anonymous
Close
Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML
Anonymous
Today, at 9 o’clock in the morning while I was working, I made the mistake of being comfortable with a machine that literally bends and breaks steel bars. I lost my entire middle finger and the top third of my pinky and ring fingers. FML
sero
Denver, United States
ER time
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
AHHH_REPTAR
Spearfish, United States
Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML
figgy
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
Slice and dice
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
just the tip, though
Grovetown, United States
Kitchen Nightmares
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Bullocks
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Rochester, United States
Snowflake
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
41k312
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
caitywebbkid
Perth, Australia
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
who has 1 and 3/4 a thumb and just ruined the safety demonstration? *points to himself* this guy.
Headcrab 29
Well now you know what NOT to do :-)
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Comments (84)
perdix 31
When they schedule sexual harassment training, call in sick that day! That's one tip you don't want to lose ;) PS: The course is a big lie -- I thought they were going to train us how to sexually harass our co-workers more effectively. When I found out what it was really about, they made me put my dick away :(
unknown_user5566 27
Actions speak louder than words!
BMC1999 0
Well That's not ironic
BenTaz 7
Seriously how the **** did you manage that ?
groupleader 7
Wrong place...right time.
SexyMcKittington 3
Is your name Martin Creiff?
Bluedog42 7
Well, I hope you learned something.
annihil8or 15
So does your vote still count as much as everyone else's?
FireFlie07 20
I've heard this one before....
myndmelt 4
At least you didn't shoot your self in the foot/leg during a gun safety lecture.