Work: Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed... - FML

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 084

You deserved it 3 982

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 155

You deserved it 2 529

Close

By Anonymous - 10/12/2018 22:00

Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 429

You deserved it 1 259

By Anonymous - 08/08/2018 20:30

Today, at 9 o’clock in the morning while I was working, I made the mistake of being comfortable with a machine that literally bends and breaks steel bars. I lost my entire middle finger and the top third of my pinky and ring fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 721

You deserved it 1 549

ER time

By sero - 10/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 120

By AHHH_REPTAR - 23/06/2016 04:54 - United States - Spearfish

Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 1 392

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 265

You deserved it 6 091

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 11 923

By Bullocks - 27/04/2012 05:49 - United States - Rochester

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 258

You deserved it 4 444

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 739

You deserved it 3 620

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 788

You deserved it 812

Next

Top comments

gonad_gobbler 1

Thursday 24 May 2012 23:02

who has 1 and 3/4 a thumb and just ruined the safety demonstration? *points to himself* this guy.

Headcrab 29

Thursday 24 May 2012 22:58

Well now you know what NOT to do :-)

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 25 May 2012 6:26

When they schedule sexual harassment training, call in sick that day! That's one tip you don't want to lose ;) PS: The course is a big lie -- I thought they were going to train us how to sexually harass our co-workers more effectively. When I found out what it was really about, they made me put my dick away :(

unknown_user5566 26

Friday 25 May 2012 6:51

Actions speak louder than words!

BMC1999 0

Friday 25 May 2012 8:45

Well That's not ironic

BenTaz 7

Friday 25 May 2012 10:44

Seriously how the **** did you manage that ?

groupleader 7

Friday 25 May 2012 12:16

Wrong place...right time.

SexyMcKittington 3

Friday 25 May 2012 15:02

Is your name Martin Creiff?

Bluedog42 7

Friday 25 May 2012 15:06

Well, I hope you learned something.

annihil8or 15

Friday 25 May 2012 17:22

So does your vote still count as much as everyone else's?

FireFlie07 20

Friday 25 May 2012 17:58

I've heard this one before....

myndmelt 4

Friday 25 May 2012 18:37

At least you didn't shoot your self in the foot/leg during a gun safety lecture.

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The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 207

You deserved it 3 632

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 841

The Top

Today, I finally realized I've spent the last 6 years building a business I hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 811

You deserved it 2 133

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 344

Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 877

You deserved it 2 563

Today, it became apparent that telling your crush you like them isn't worth a response. I mean after all it's not like I'm sitting here not thinking about them and hoping for something to happen. No no, a simple "No thanks" is too much hard work for some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 365

Today, I found out the passport office sent my passport to the wrong address. They sent it all to my ex-wife (currently separated) who is now asking for money in exchange for the documents, as well as me signing a divorce that she hasn't started. I'm from Australia; I can't go see my family because of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 133

Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 076

You deserved it 6 143