By Anonymous - 13/05/2017 21:00 - Italy

Spicy
Today, after a hard day, I allowed myself a small solitary pleasure. As I was going at it, all of a sudden a little red dot appeared on my penis. A pimple? Nope. The laser that my neighbors were using to show me that I'd forgotten to close my curtains. FML
I agree, your life sucks 7 659
You deserved it 6 039

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This is the part where you turn facing them, look them straight in the eye, and continue. They will never bother you ever again, I can guarantee that.

Well, technically, you are in your house, so you don't HAVE to shut the curtains.

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This is the part where you turn facing them, look them straight in the eye, and continue. They will never bother you ever again, I can guarantee that.

I agree. You'll establish dominance.

I agree. You'll establish dominance.

Is this guarantee due to a previous experience?

Plan your revenge!

It's still early but I don't think anything beats the 1st comment. Now, forevermore, you should leave the curtains open.

Well, technically, you are in your house, so you don't HAVE to shut the curtains.

That depends. In some jurisdictions in the United States, it's illegal to wander around nude in your own home without the curtains drawn, let alone engaging in "solitary pleasure". In 2009, Eric Williamson, of Springfield, Virginia, was arrested for being nude in his own home (he was making coffee at the time) when a neighbor saw him. He was eventually exonerated but the legal defense must have cost him a fair bit. And that was for simple nudity, nothing sexual about it.

the whole thing was stupid. he wouldn't have been seen, had the idiot neighbor not been walking through his yard with the idiot kid looking through people's windows.

Good thing you don't have a cat...

Well, they had to use a laser sight....for such a....small....target....

BOOM! Headshot.

Was anyone else waiting for a cat to attack at the laser dot part?

Getting off whilst staring at your own junk? How narcissistic.

What, you look away?

I love posting comments for up-votes and comments for down-votes and getting the call right every time. You people feed me :)

I believe FML is a sarcasm-free site

Whose penis do you look at whilst masterbating?

Somehow, I feel that being caught masturbating by my neighbors and the lifelong awkwardness that brings is less bad than a penis pimple.