Anonymous
Italy 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after a hard day, I allowed myself a small solitary pleasure. As I was going at it, all of a sudden a little red dot appeared on my penis. A pimple? Nope. The laser that my neighbors were using to show me that I'd forgotten to close my curtains. FML
Top comments
Lobby_Bee 17
This is the part where you turn facing them, look them straight in the eye, and continue. They will never bother you ever again, I can guarantee that.
vandj8 9
Well, technically, you are in your house, so you don't HAVE to shut the curtains.
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Comments (46)
Lobby_Bee 17
This is the part where you turn facing them, look them straight in the eye, and continue. They will never bother you ever again, I can guarantee that.
Zebediabolical 43
I agree. You'll establish dominance.
Zebediabolical 43
I agree. You'll establish dominance.
seelingzheng 7
大
Cherryta 17
Is this guarantee due to a previous experience?
CrazyTrainWreck 19
That must have been a hard situation to deal with.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
oh screw you guys that was funny
A.jChafa 11
lol
Phillip Langstaff 4
Haha
Phillip Langstaff 4
Haha
theapplesleader 11
Plan your revenge!
lukcy_basartd 11
It's still early but I don't think anything beats the 1st comment. Now, forevermore, you should leave the curtains open.
vandj8 9
Well, technically, you are in your house, so you don't HAVE to shut the curtains.
Ray_of_midnight 22
That depends. In some jurisdictions in the United States, it's illegal to wander around nude in your own home without the curtains drawn, let alone engaging in "solitary pleasure". In 2009, Eric Williamson, of Springfield, Virginia, was arrested for being nude in his own home (he was making coffee at the time) when a neighbor saw him. He was eventually exonerated but the legal defense must have cost him a fair bit. And that was for simple nudity, nothing sexual about it.
sweetbliss3 37
the whole thing was stupid. he wouldn't have been seen, had the idiot neighbor not been walking through his yard with the idiot kid looking through people's windows.
Phillip Langstaff 4
True
arandomperson97 18
Good thing you don't have a cat...
Talented73 54
Well, they had to use a laser sight....for such a....small....target....
Phillip Langstaff 4
Haha
Druu 53
BOOM! Headshot.
Glowworm56 26
Was anyone else waiting for a cat to attack at the laser dot part?
Regulate 21
Getting off whilst staring at your own junk? How narcissistic.
MidnaLink 33
What, you look away?
Regulate 21
I love posting comments for up-votes and comments for down-votes and getting the call right every time. You people feed me :)
ThongWarrior 17
I believe FML is a sarcasm-free site
ThrottleJockey 35
Whose penis do you look at whilst masterbating?
RichardPencil 30
Somehow, I feel that being caught masturbating by my neighbors and the lifelong awkwardness that brings is less bad than a penis pimple.