Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Especially if you are so precious that you feel you are too good for Walmart...
heinous966 15
I'm sorry he gave you such a lard time.
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Comments (150)
Tinkerbell133_fml 5
I'd feel bad for you, but that pretentious attitude towards the lower class who have little option but to shop at Walmart, really takes away any sympathy I had. YDI
ElatedEarthling 15
OP said nothing about the people who shop there. Perhaps he hates shopping at Walmart because they're an evil mega corporation with more power than the government in some areas.
acerredrum 23
#36 OP did say something about the people who shop there by calling one of them lard posing as a human. That shows quite clearly how OP feels.
GSU2013 6
I think he was just calling him fat...
acerredrum 23
Over weight, obese, heavy. Oh look I describe that with out being a total jerk and saying that someone isn't even human because of their weight.
ElatedEarthling 15
He talked negatively about one person, not the entire population that shops there.
Poetaster 10
You got off easy. Walmat women love bacon.
challan 19
all woman love bacon.
DDCA 24
All women love sausage. Men love bacon.
blondie107 20
That sucks :/
ElatedEarthling 15
As do prostitutes, vacuums, and your comment.
whogivesafuck88 10
Are you op? Because you sure are going to a lot of trouble defending an anonymous by an anonymous asshole
ElatedEarthling 15
No, OP is male.
graceinsheepwear 34
You have a very offputting nasty attitude. What goes around comes around, and it looks like instant karma got you, my deserving friend.
ElatedEarthling 15
I do not see how OP is "off-putting" or "nasty". Would you care to explain?
Okapi_fml 12
47 - I do not care what the reason is, you do not describe an overweight person as something inhuman or subhuman due to their weight. That's a pathetic tactic to making yourself feel better or for trying to make the person who you're insulting seem more menacing. OP just sounds whiney and spoiled to me. And that's pretty off putting in my opinion. idk if that's the same reasoning as 30, though.
graceinsheepwear 34
Oh come on. "an obese sack of lard posing as a human being"? That's nasty and offputting in my book. Can you not feel the venom behind those words?
graceinsheepwear 34
Amen to all that you said. Yes. 47
graceinsheepwear 34
61 amen
graceinsheepwear 34
OMG FML I can't type tonight. Amen to 61. Sorry about the multiples
ElatedEarthling 15
Was it not nasty of the man to shove OP? It's appropriate to negatively describe someone who would do something like that because their actions warrant such name calling.
erinxkay 4
The person could is rude, an asshole, etc. That had nothing to do with their weight. Them being obese is irrelevant.
outoftown 27
61, 137, etc. - Nonsense. OP's referring to lard in the context of bacon and swinish behavior. Clever and appropriate.
Axel5238 29
Doesn't warrant it. Weight had nothing to do with it and he has a bad attitude. Don't try to justify someone's horrible attitude. He obviously exposed what a jackass he actually is. I don't feel any sympathy.
ElatedEarthling 15
I agree that weight had nothing to do with it. The fact that the guy was a total douche who shoved OP is what matters. Honestly, who here wouldn't get worked up over that? No, he didn't have to comment on the guy's weight, but he did anyway.
PerdueManOHyrule 2
ohhoney, being neAr-broke isn't "resorting to wAlmArt", being neAr-broke is when you cAn't Afford shit from plAces cheAper thAn wAlmArt. & let's fAce it, wAlmArt's not even As cheAp As they becAme fAmous for
jayleensmama 14
Wow. I always hear about all these Walmart horror stories and have never experienced anything like this while shopping there.
JOcoco 14
Same here. I've never experienced any kind of harassment or seen any kind of behavior that Walmart shoppers have been depicted as having. Actually the weirdest thing I've ever witnessed at Walmart was a guy shop lifting a sweater by shoving it down his pants. Other than that Walmart hasn't seemed any different than other stores I shop at.
nightbirdblue 27
The weirdest thing I've seen is teenagers playing hide and seek at 3am. Well, I saw a guy dragging a deer in the parking lot, but the trail of blood hinted that it came from behind the nearby Kmart.
Ziggy122 15
I can't say I've ever been physically assaulted by a customer there, but it seems as if every time I go there, I'm stuck in line behind either some douchebag arguing over a three-cent price difference, or an abusive teenage mother with her six filthy children in tow. And of course, out of the 30 registers they have, only three are open at any given ******* time.
Neesalun 20
If you say that this happened the way you said it did, why didn't you bring charges of assault against the person that shaved you? Walmart has cameras throughout the store and you could also take pics of said person as well as follow until police apprehend them.
le_miserable 5
It's FML not 'let's bring the justice system into this'
lexa1love 16
You are actually not supposed to follow someone unless it's considered a life/death situation. Like if someone stole your kid and stuffed them in a trunk. Snapping a picture, ya that's reasonable but any farther and you might be in trouble too.
Neesalun 20
Very true. You could keep an eye out from a far but a good description plus pic would help too.
Neesalun 20
I meant shoved.
itsmichellebitch 16
well obese sacks of lard do enjoy their bacon.
tennistar67 7
Welcome to Walmart.