Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 19
Especially if you are so precious that you feel you are too good for Walmart...
heinous966 15
I'm sorry he gave you such a lard time.
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Comments (150)
notanimmigrant 16
*BEEP*....... *BEEP*....... *BEEP*....... coming through.........
perdix 29
Save up your money, you snob, and go to Whole Foods where they have hemp mats laid out so you look at the organic, free-range bacon for hours while snacking on kale chips.
nightbirdblue 27
I'd like to know where OP goes for toiletries. I better there's toilet paper as soft as feathers, golden jewel encrusted tooth brushes, hair brushes that brush your hair for you, and bathroom attendants.
Pierce1987 8
Lucky you. When im broke i dont get to shop anywhere
monkeytater96 23
If u weren't so stuck up u could shop there more often and know how to dodge those people.
furbyface711 9
YDI for thinking you are better than people who shop there. Obviously you aren't better than them if you have to shop there.
AngelLovesDerby 10
Wow... Even busted your lip.. I'd kill!!!
Ceejay1 13
What the hell is wrong with shopping at Walmart ? That is the best place for supplies & super Walmart is good for some groceries. Someone is stuck up .
disney_blonde 16
Why are you buying bacon if you're near broke. It isn't exactly one of cheapest things you can buy.
AnAfterImage 7
It depends. Here, cheap bacon can range from a couple of bucks for two packs. Nothing fancy, and it falls apart when you cook it, but it's bacon.
dramamamariah 4
"resorted"to shopping at Walmart? you act like you have to go to the food drive. your a snobby bitch
MontvaleMayhem 11
Just be thankful he didn't think you were bacon!