Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Chance encounter
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
People of Walmart
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
Parent #1 of the Year
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Losing it
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Pranks for all ages
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Dude, are you OK?
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Cashback
Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML
Top comments
zandalee 19
Especially if you are so precious that you feel you are too good for Walmart...
heinous966 15
I'm sorry he gave you such a lard time.
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Comments (150)
Martinez0285 28
'murica
ChakatBlackstar 29
"resorted to shopping at Walmart"? You say that like it's a bad thing. Just try getting service at K-Mart.
QueenSaru 28
I dunno, we only just got Target here in Canada and to me it just looks like a red version of Wal-Mart. So basically Zellers (though I think Target bought out Zellers here, because the only two Targets I've seen are now where Zellers stores were).
catsaregreatmeow 10
YDI, you're being over dramatic. Your attitude bothers me, and name calling isn't persuasive if you want sympathy.
davincidasecond 24
You sound like someone just BEGGING to be taken down a few pegs. A more humble disposition would gain my sympathy, but in all honesty, saying you had to 'resort' to Walmart shopping and the way you described an overweight person makes you come off as an asshole with a superiority complex. And people like that always get what they deserve in one way or another.
Ray_of_midnight 22
YDI for being a classist fatphobic douche. I make enough money to not shop at Wal-Mart and think Wal-Mart is, on the whole, not a net good for our society, but I'm not ever gonna hate on someone for shopping there.
otecasacid 22
I work at a supercenter, and there are all kinds of temperments there. Lots of rude people, lots of nice people. I noticed the rude people are often very stupid, and fail to read the signs labeling what is in the aisles, and as they walk away, I remind myself that compared to them, I won the genetic lottery.
LyraAlluse 25
There is this thing and this thing is called Winco and its prices are cheap and the employees are happy because they get paid! So come one and all to this magical shopping land! And get all the bacon you want, no busted lips involved.
ashlyn_is_here 8
I'd feel sorry for you if you didn't start it off so snooty.
erinxkay 4
I am broker than broke so I feel your pain, OP. Where I live it's actually cheaper to use coupons in conjunction with sales at places like Kroger than shop at Walmart. Bonus? You don't have to brave Walmart. You are kind of a douche for saying that the person is less of a human for being obese. They were rude but that had nothing to do with weight.