Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 19
Especially if you are so precious that you feel you are too good for Walmart...
heinous966 15
I'm sorry he gave you such a lard time.
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Comments (150)
red61977 9
Did your snobby ass call security?
kurtisjames 5
YDI for your "I'm better than you" attitude.
theandrewdays 2
Being nearly broke maybe you should have "resorted" to shopping there earlier. What makes you think you are above wal mart?
MoeGro 6
You "resorted" to Walmart? Thats just snobbish. You deserved being knocked over for standing in us Walmart shoppers way for our delicious bacon.
peachfuzz74 8
Good thing she pushed you out the way or else you are going to end up looking just like her for eating bacon.
averagelyawesome 5
While what happened to you was awful, I really must commend you for your choice of words. An "obese sack of Lard Posing as a human being" truly descriptive not to mention uplifting. Hats off to you sir.
jamnglamgirlie 17
That's why I never shop for food at Walmart.
Ameel_fml 19
There's a whole lot of offended Walmart shoppers here. I mean, I shop at Walmart too. But let's not pretend it's a classy store that doesn't have the stereotype of rude and oboxious customers.
nightbirdblue 27
What store that sells food, toiletries, and cleaning supplies is classy? Last time I checked Target, Walmart, and Kmart were all about the same level of class being middle to lower class. Those three are about even in everything. They all have about the same customer base and employee base. Are there rude customers and employees in them sometimes? Yes, but that's to be expected as rude people are a part of society and they have to show up somewhere in your life sooner or later. There are no more rude people in any of those three stores than another. (I prefer Target, but do like Walmart. The one I cannot stand is Kmart because they never have a good enough selection of the things I go to buy.)
Likian5 26
Sounds almost......comical.
Ziggy122 15
Have you been inside a Walmart? It's where all the scum of the earth assemble. Even Target is more upscale.