Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Especially if you are so precious that you feel you are too good for Walmart...
heinous966 15
I'm sorry he gave you such a lard time.
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Comments (150)
derrick347 9
Murica'!
InfamousRaider 15
You have no right to say that, you live in Canada.
caitiebug1119 15
"Resorted to shopping at Wal Mart"? Get off your high horse you snob. If it's the people you hate there, go really late at night or really early in the morning.
ElatedEarthling 15
Not possible for everyone. At the Walmart by my house, people get raped/shot/mugged when they go there late night or early morning.
golden_warrior 23
if that's a normal occurrence then you shouldn't you consider moving?
XxXCrissyXxX 12
Thats the area then, not walmart.
buckerado 19
Walmart is just like any other store, each with their own issues. There is no reason to feel embarrassed shopping at any store. Money is money and food is food. As for the people...idiots are EVERYWHERE and I don't think that there will be a shortage of them anytime soon. Idiots,idiots everywhere...
ElatedEarthling 15
#54 Yes, I'll move because of the crimes that take place at an avoidable store.
love_me_electric 20
True, some of Wal-mart's problems aren't it's fault. They can't help is the people who shop there are assholes or if crimes take place near by. But there's a lot of stuff they COULD fix, but choose not to. Why are there only 2 cashiers on a friday evening? Why are their staff so rude and unprofessional? I don't mind spending a little extra money if it means I don't have to wait in line for a half an hour and the staff are actually nice to me. Can't believe all the people on here calling OP a snob for not wanting to give their hard earned money to a terrible company that doesn't give a shit about its customers.
XxXCrissyXxX 12
That goes with nearly every place. I've run in to rude workers in low to high grade stores alike. it's noticeably more annoying because we shop for food and general stuff, more than other things, so were there more often.
KiddoKS 19
The op may have reasons for not wanting to shop there other than being snobby. I do admit it did come off that way, but I don't shop there because of their business practices. They regularly work employees just under what they need to get benefits. The corporation claimed they had no knowledge of the hiring of illegal workers even though it was uncovered that they actual gave the stores special paperwork for those situations. They have the big electronics companies make similar models with lesser quality parts and then sell them a few bucks cheaper. Then there's the whole made in America campaign they ran that had horrible effects on companies like Huffy. I can go on and on. I know no corporations are really completely innocent, but we all draw the line somewhere. If this is what the op meant, it could have been better worded, but don't assume anyone thinks their too good if they choose not to shop somewhere.
KiddoKS 19
*they're near the end.... ran out of edit time darnit!
meowmeee 7
IMO if your broke you don't go to Walmart you go to the dollar store, save a lot && aldi.
jamsie_fml 17
....that's when you go to the gun aisle.
WhiteCrimson 23
I say YDI. Your to use to shopping els where and in your mind you created an kind of Walmart stereotype, i wont be surprised if the people there could smell the stench of fear on you.
AzWolf 5
Learn to spell
HarroIAmBob 21
*You're *too *elsewhere *I
dontpanic_fml 32
^ *used *a *[.] *wouldn't
suckstobehuman 10
Wallmart are unethical to shop at? Don't be so judgemental for OP 'resorting'. Unless it's against a fat person in which you can judge all you like, their actions are exposed in the form of their grotesque appearances.
CharresBarkrey 16
The way he describes the other shopper clearly indicates that he has a pre-defined view of all Walmart shoppers.
redbunnyfoofoo 3
So OP's anger is validated if its a fat person? I hope you choke on a piece of lard.
CodeXana 9
I have PCOS. By the time I was diagnosed and knew how to help my symptoms I was already fat. I'm working to change that now but it's a pretty tough road. PCOS is genetic, I got it from my mother and there is no way to prevent it. Does that mean my "grotesque" appearance reflects my actions? None of which could have changed anything? TL;DR: get over yourself you judgmental asshat
punjabtimelord 18
Despite your affliction, (which someone I know also has, I know it's bad), the vast majority of obese people are so because of their own lazy and uncaring habits. You're trying to do something about it, which is a lot more than the aforementioned 'piece of lard' sounds like he's doing. I don't blame OP for trying to avoid this sort of treatment, I would too if I could afford it.
flashback_fml 14
You sound pompous but fyl anyways
olfool 3
For those of you getting defensive about OPs use of the word "resorted," I can't say I blame her. Besides the people there, go watch the documentary "The High Cost of Low Prices" and see what a scumbag place Walmart is.
Busybeth98 16
I believe the OP is male. Although I don't appreciate the choice of words in the FML, I understand where they're coming from, since my family goes to Walmart. I feel lucky that we haven't experienced anything this extreme yet.
Caitie_kid 8
Yep. Walmart is the Devil.
sailorarctic 22
i've worked for walmart most of my life and honestly it's a better company than a lot of you people think it is. also, that documentary is a lot of BS facts and misrepresentated data. Penn and Teller did a better job on their show Bullshit.
TheDrifter 24
The high cost of low prices was made by an anti Walmart/ anti capitalism in general activist. Did you expect anything other than misrepresentations and outright lies? It takes very little to make a documentary in the digital age and calling it a theory shields you from criminal prosecution.
chanellgymnast 17
Tina, you fat lard! -This is merely a stupid movie reference. Forgive me.-
Busybeth98 16
Are you drinking 1% because you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could drink 2% if you wanted.
UnicornFarts 15
Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.
Martinez0285 28
don't be jealous that I have been chatting online with babes all day
Martinez0285 28
yer mom goes to college
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Napoleon!!!!! lol
cheezball63 8
Only at walmart
AzWolf 5
Be brave! You have to at Walmart!