Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I found out that, while not exactly probable, it is definitely possible to squirt yourself in the eye with breast milk. It burns. FML
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, my boyfriend made dinner. He warned me that it was spicy, but I laughed at him and said that white guys don't know spicy. Five minutes later, I had to beg for milk, with my eyes streaming and nose pouring. Turns out I was wrong. FML
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
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Top comments
lilemmy55 10
Just go to the doctor and make your boss drive you there :)
mlebethbear 0
your boss should give you a raise.
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Comments (79)
AnnaMarieGoodson 3
Wow people are stupid. If you get pepper spray in your eye, you put your face in milk. The milk takes away the sting. Water is a reactant to pepper spray, making it sting even more. Hasnt anyone been in the academy?
MissBBGoodGirl 0
Milk only works when you drink it after eating spicy foods, if your boss was smart he/she should have suggested cold water! Sorry about your eye op, but next time use common sense!
hipsterkitty88 0
you spelled chili wrong
mannmau5 0
LOL
gnick424 3
Did it work?
marissa246 0
use an eyecup
jfkeith31B 10
well your boss is a dumbass, milk has acid in it, and I thought I told you to stop snorting chili powder
PhilipNotMacedon 3
Acid tastes sour, not hot, and your eyes can handle the very weak acidity that milk has. Lactose binds with the active ingredient in hot foods, neutralising it. The boss is not an idiot, it simply wasn't effective enough because it was in the worker's eye.
Wakachulak 22
Yo dumbasses! Lactose is a sugar, not an acid. And double dumbass to you both for not knowing the difference between lactose and lactic acid!
needsagf14 12
Ooooohhh it hurts! Inside! The pain! Oooooohhhh! - Sweet Dee
gawjaxo 7
Oh my god, i can't believe that you actually tipped milk in your eye. Funniest mental images come up. Ahahahahahaha
anamica24x7 8
Aww well at least your boss cares