Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I found out that, while not exactly probable, it is definitely possible to squirt yourself in the eye with breast milk. It burns. FML
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, my boyfriend made dinner. He warned me that it was spicy, but I laughed at him and said that white guys don't know spicy. Five minutes later, I had to beg for milk, with my eyes streaming and nose pouring. Turns out I was wrong. FML
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
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Top comments
lilemmy55 10
Just go to the doctor and make your boss drive you there :)
mlebethbear 0
your boss should give you a raise.
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Comments (79)
bubo_fml 11
Ya missed your nose...Chilli powder isn't cocaine & milk = code for spunk...Some folks will do anything for a $!
Savra_fml 17
Next time you put chilli on your hands and then in your eyes, quickly stick your thumb up your bum. Wait 3 seconds....your eyes will open really big and that is when you must pour the milk in. After another 3 seconds, your eyes will be the least of your worries.
LennyComa 39
Seriously a saline eye wash woulda been better
nickisam 1
milk neutralizes the acid in spicy foods
damnthatsucks12 3
whos milk? ;)
moodyreallyrocks 27
Actually milk may help with the burning in OP's mouth, not sure about the eye though.
MrLoux 6
that milk saved you a whole lot of pain! trust me!
MrIncredibleSME 3
Milk alleviates the effects of capsaicin, but I don't know if it helps in cases other than when you eat it...
iveanne 0
Actually milk does help if you get pepper in your eye. As crazy as it sounds, it actually works. Happened to my boss and I gave her milk for her eye. After 5 minutes, she was much better. True story.
StaRRrRr 0
Your boss hates you...