Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I found out that, while not exactly probable, it is definitely possible to squirt yourself in the eye with breast milk. It burns. FML
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, my boyfriend made dinner. He warned me that it was spicy, but I laughed at him and said that white guys don't know spicy. Five minutes later, I had to beg for milk, with my eyes streaming and nose pouring. Turns out I was wrong. FML
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
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Top comments
lilemmy55 10
Just go to the doctor and make your boss drive you there :)
mlebethbear 0
your boss should give you a raise.
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Comments (79)
Occums_Razor 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How could that possibly help?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
In more ways then you'll ever know...
StoryOfTheYear 15
Protein helps everything.
mlebethbear 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I bet you had to go to the "powder room" the clean yourself off. LOL
jillianmathers12 13
Where the hell do you work?
TheRealBruce 12
You're covered in "milk" yeah looks like somebody is trying to get a raise
onecrazybitch 0
@18 I'm thinking maybe a restaurant?
himoonkey 8
Actually, milk can reduce the "hot" feeling of spices!
ambamm135 7
Milk is a base it'll help reduce the heat
crackz12 10
Ive gotten pepper sprayed before and milk immediately extinguished the pain. Your boss was right you probably just didnt wash out all the chili power
Spike300 12
It helps because both substances are polar, and as you should know, like dissolves like, so milk gets rid of the chili powder
SirObvious 1
We are clearly neglecting how great of a comedian #16 is.
ImFrackinBored 13
Got milk?
koolkat27 13
Aww sorry op:(
m0tl3ycru3 0
No your not sorry! You secretly were laughing inside
lilemmy55 10
Just go to the doctor and make your boss drive you there :)
sailorzoe 14
I thought all the scene kids had grown up to be hipsters already? You are the lone scene kid!!! Hahaha
MagicallyFat 12
What
BeYourAlphaMale 0
I actually like scene kids. They are alot more fun and unique than hipsters.
mexicanguy39 7
Scene girls are freakin' hot and really cool.. So stfu
mexicanguy39 7
Its funny in how in sailorzoes description, it says don't be stereotypical, yet that is what shes being..
that1guyyy 12
Sailorzoe is a hypocritical idiot.
CVeNgineer 0
Howd you manage to get chili powder in your eye?
m0tl3ycru3 0
Step 3: start screaming in pain
TheNotoriousOne 1
Haha I don't know why you would put milk in your eye. It's called water dumbass. Don't do everything people tell you
jcforbes 4
The dumbass here is you unfortunately. Milk has a compound called casein that dissolves the chemical that causes the burning. Water doesnt, water just thins the shit out and spreads the burn around more.
jcforbes 4
The dumbass here is you unfortunately. Milk has a compound called casein that dissolves the chemical that causes the burning. Water doesnt, water just thins the shit out and spreads the burn around more.
azriel97 6
Pwned
Ranimal 12
Jcforbes happens to be right. I'd be more careful going around calling people dumbass when you have no idea what the **** you're talking about.
mlebethbear 0
your boss should give you a raise.
FriscoKidz 10
I'm pretty sure chili powder is meant for food consumption only. Why you would put it anywhere near your eyes is beyond me. At least your boss cares enough to throw milk at your face.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Here's what you do: stomp on his foot, then kick him in the balls assuring him you "thought it would help". Then Quit.
jensenisbatman 12
What the **** is wrong with you he thought milk would help because it helps when you consume it plus getting hit in the balls is one of the most painful thing that can happen to someone
jensenisbatman 12
You have no idea how much it hurts to get hit in the balls you haven't even come close to that much pain
swifty632 0
Your boss must be retarded
twofirstnames 12
"oh let me help you!" *throws milk on face*.... Milk only works if you consumed it and your tongue is burning, I don't think throwing it in your eye works so well :/
ikickgingers 15
Step one: milk goes in shot glass Step two: put shot glass to eye Step three: tilt head back with shot glass filled with milk Step four: blink Step five: all better, if not...fill shot glass with whiskey and drink Step six: repeat step five as necessary As per Grandpa Kick Not guaranteed to work, but old Irish men know best.
rattusrattus 19
I generally find eating bread, chips (fries) or mashed potato helps for hot chilli, but I don't know about eyes. Meh. Any excuse for mashed potato.