Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML
Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML
Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML
Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML
Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML
Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Top comments
ClassyCommando 13
"Oh, right. It wasn't bleeding before, but then I took an arrow to the ac-knee." *Prepares for onslaught of thumbs down* I regret nothing.
ShroomsOnAcid 16
Let's see how many ignorant comments THIS acne related FML can gather.
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Comments (278)
ShroomsOnAcid 16
Let's see how many ignorant comments THIS acne related FML can gather.
urdirtyolduncle 15
^I'll start Oh, no! Help! The 120th citizen of pimpletown has been shot!!
Pentium_4 27
i'm srorry OP :( at least according to your username, you are 1337
zombicidal 11
its either them or the new vigilante gang "proactive"
hugsandisses 6
Hmm you should have replied with "well, you must be bleeding from your ****** today." wow, what a bitch
ClassyCommando 13
"Oh, right. It wasn't bleeding before, but then I took an arrow to the ac-knee." *Prepares for onslaught of thumbs down* I regret nothing.
zombicidal 11
^i applaud your bravery sir
hugsandisses 6
Omg thats so annoying, seriously. You know something's dumb. You write/state you know it's dumb. You still do it. And think it makes u look cool. Like, no, please stop.
mark5723 0
Shhhh^
FiasCudi 0
Dumb things can be funny, so there is nothing wrong with saying it if your just trying to make people laugh But c'mon #71, u should lighten up, ...Why so serious?
alpaquette91 9
71, you know, seriously... Like OMG... shut up... And stop adding a space between each line of your ignorant chatter.
hugsandisses 6
No I know but seriously it gets irritating at times.. Example: I know this is an over-used pun, but I just had to say it. That is a shitty situation. Don't judge me. Like wtf?? Biggest pet peeve on here!!
hugsandisses 6
Oh gosh, whatever. I can't wait until it happens again, no one thinks it's funny and thumbs it down...hypocrite.
mattmadden 0
Well you know what's annoying 77? When people talk like this. Leaving spaces. Then write a separate thought after another line stating why you said the line above.
hugsandisses 6
Oh. I'm sorry. I truly am.
alpaquette91 9
Like OMG seriously!!!! I totally think you're a illiterate 15 year old who is almost as annoying as the overused phrase "shitty situation."
hugsandisses 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Illiterate? Try again. I actually have good grammar, though that may come off as a surprise to some of you. I didn't know you guys would take my comment to the heart. Grow up. And 15? Try again. Don't judge me off of this thread. I was only trying to state my opinion. I find it completely hypocritical that some of you are disagreeing with what I wrote, yet one person does (the example I made before) everyone is first to thumbs down. I don't understand you guys. Whatever. Good day.
Skyrizzle23 0
^ Just stop already. No matter how hard to try, you're still going to get thumbed down. Don't be so serious.
ClassyCommando 13
Wow, look at the beginning of this thread. Shrooms was expecting ignorant comments, and you gave them to him in spades, Hugsandisses. Many ******* thanks.
Orion1434 5
You can tell that from the lack of spaces and immature grammar that 91 either had someone type that for them or fell to conformism. Both of which are qualities that would suggest 15 years old.
reaganomics 6
#91 some quick advice : "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." -Abe Lincoln
StoryOfTheYear 14
85- I want to slap you very hard. One time for every highly annoying and unnecessary space between your sentences in your posts.
BostonBruinsFan 8
President of Pimpleton here, I'm speaking now to say that our beloved 120, has been-bang!-now the President has been shot!!! I repeat the President of Pimpleton is dead!! What has come to our beloved left cheek! Now who's going to be President of Pimpleton??
ClassyCommando 13
ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF PIMPLETON! We are experiencing major volcanic activity on Mt. Nose. All civilians within a 2cm radius of Mt. Nose must evacuate immediately, and relocate to the higher ground of the cheeks, in order to evade the imminent snot eruption!
EthanQHarris 3
I think all of you are extremely brave and tough for fighting on FML.
zombicidal 11
a great famine has swept the once great city of pimpleton the once smooth lanes are now slick with grease and oil and it seems with the stress population has increased ten fold God help us all
zombicidal 11
140 I hope you're talking about the guy above me who is quite chodely
Dustin_Pedobear 9
#91, I didn't realize that grammar could be owned. U can haz grammar?
twilightluvr101 4
71 like ummm no
Skyrizzle23 0
Whoops, I meant * no matter how hard you try, not how hard to try. My bad.
blackstar994 5
How did the teacher know it was the 120th? Maybe it could of been the 3rd... Or 10th... Or the 438th...
cannibletaco 6
91- I will gladly point this out to prove that you don't have good grammar. You are never supposed to start a sentence with "and."
GovernorGeneral 8
170- Teacher has been keeping count of the pimples on OPs face everyday.There is no other explanation.
koolkat27 13
86- your saying that 91 is a 15 year old when you say "like omg seriously!" in every comment you used? ha.
Roevera 14
91- I don't just judge you for this thread... I judge you for your obnoxious profile as well..
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
44 made the only funny arrow to the knee I've ever heard.
FiasCudi 0
hey attention everyone!!! click #91's comment and read his bio. then realize how obnoxious it is, and judge him on that. :)
freakinglaugher 10
Pimple town, a once great facecity, has now been reduced to poverty, crime and the great tension of the white heads and black heads. However, rumor has it that down south there's load of brown ore. If you can climb Mount Gut and cross the Penisippi river, we might just have a fresh start on life.
alpaquette91 9
179: Obviously you didn't read hugsanisses burried comments, did you?
ClassyCommando 13
One does not simply WALK into The Bowels, 189.
smartypants96 3
Hugsanddisses, STFU. Thank you, that is all. :)
periwinkle95 10
124 and 130 made my day. Pimpleton is the most genius name for a town. Hahaha
Silentstrike 11
Hahaha, when you try to prove a point, your comments shouldnt be thumbed to -173,-79,-63... Apparently your point is not taken well.
asianbeezy_ 5
Hahaha that's funny!
AllyyK 9
Damn "hugsandkisses" you really failed HARD, multiple times. You say you "have good grammar"? WHERE? WHEN? After seeing your profile, you are obviously VERY immature. You're "better looking and cooler"? This just keeps getting better and better. You sound like you're 15 years old, or probably younger. At least I got a good laugh from your comments! I'm sure everyone else did too. So thanks for that! YOU are my biggest pet peeve. People like you who think they actually use the correct grammar, when they really don't. You probably think you're "hot shit" huh? Well people like YOU are usually VERY immature and dumb as hell. Like omgggg wtfff!! You are like sooo coool omgz!!!! You're probably one of those AWESOME people who put a 'Z' on the end of 'lol' and 'omg'. You sound like you do that lol. Don't take this too hard, It's ONLY FML haha. It's filled with grammar nazi's and dumb ass people. So at least you're not alone, you have your fellow morons to fail with :) I can only hope you're still in high school, or possibly even middle school so that you can learn REAL proper grammar, and not just say that you use it right. Yes, I can see how much of a dumb ass you really are just by seeing your profile and reading your comments. Come back when you know what you're talking about little girl, so then maybe next time you won't look so stupid.. MAYBE. You were just asking for criticism, so hopefully you learned something today ;) That's all.
AllyyK 9
OH and also hugsandkisses your "bleeding from the ******" comment was not funny. Your other comments were just kinda pathetic. So.. just no.. please stop. Thought I'd add that into my essay of a comment hehehe :D
sassypenguinxox 15
Um...what?
white16sox 19
You have "good grammar." Well that's a bunch of bullshit because the correct way of saying that is "proper grammar." But you wouldn't know.
nitinsharma 4
No guys, it's okay, hugsandkisses' iPhone will "correct our asses" she doesn't need to use proper grammar or spacing! Omgz Lolz!
CherryOnTop222 7
"WAT-EVER" wow...are you retarded?
Akharr01 5
Your mom called I'm also bleeding on my left nut after she sucked me up! Best comeback
BostonBruinsFan 8
Thanks 200, I'll be here all week, cuz it's Pimpleton Week!!!! And 130, thanks for liking my comment, im a smart young teen!!!
hope540 0
I think that fact you all attack someone on FML for grammar is actually really pathetic. Obviously she wrote her profile like that on purpose... cry about it. You all have no live for the fact that a lot of you wrote small novels on here...
periwinkle95 10
257- Pimpleton week! Haha. Every time I say "Pimpleton" I giggle. Thanks for the laughs(:
dlwthit77 4
Hahaha I'll use that if anyone said that to me hehe
BostonBruinsFan 8
It's actually the year of Pmpleton, too!!
BostonBruinsFan 8
It's actually the year of Pmpleton, too!!
kasumirock 13
Can we all just agree that hugsandisses is a dumb bitch? I feel like that point has been made.
EvanescenceLuver 12
Ouch man. Sorry that sucks. But I gotta wonder.... Wouldn't it be funny/creepy/stalkerish if your teacher actually KNEW how many pimples where on your face? :/
AlaskaKid95 7
No.
aceman1992 9
Alright guys lets knock the acne puns off and get proactive about it... Oh wait
MeowMix92 5
Couldn't agree with you more XD
Roevera 14
She knows, cause she probably creeps in his room at night and plays connect the dots. sorry bad humor.
Tommananaze6T9 4
The teacher probly doesnt know. They probly just said a random number
aceman1992 9
Thank god you cleared that up for us 119.
unitedfan11 0
^^ YOU DON'T SAY????? I thought she said 120 because she actually knew the exact amount -_-
zombicidal 11
now if only someone could clear up OPs face. (just had to say it)
bteundeadmidget 5
Hey 137 if you go on Facebook I'm one of the admins of that page if you like to use that saying like us (me nick and Cody) greatly appreciated if you do
thenoobftw 3
A student told my teacher that she was depressed and his answer was "is it cause you looked at yourself in the mirror before coming to class?" teachers are mean lol
FinnishAmerican 3
119- no shit Sherlock!
Tommananaze6T9 4
Yea i read the comment wrong i thot it said like how does ur teacher no how many there are not what if ur teacher knew how many there are.
fireice22 0
It must have been his math teacher.
swoozie23 6
Probably not so funny, more creepy and stalkerish
chubby_choco 17
33, I see what you did there. XD
hk_fml 9
There was no need to be snarky about it, I would be pretty upset. At least you didn't present with blood dripping off your face?
happle 21
Says the cupcake with blood coming out of his mouth...
BostonBruinsFan 8
What if it was ketchup, and not blood???
SecretMe00 5
I haven't read one comment saying sorry to OP for his ignorant, bitchy teacher. Acne sucks OP, I've had my fair share of it and it's the most annoying thing to have to deal with!
SoMuchSourheads 0
Im still dealing with acne but I found something very useful..... Tamanu oil is very good at getting rid of alot of skin problems. I strongly recommend that you guys at least research about it. Not many people know about this
TourettesGuyFTW 25
OP, you should have wiped some of your face on the teacher's face... then said "you're infected too now".
Llama_Face89 33
125- Or strawberry filling!!!! Mmmmm.... Also go Habs.
BostonBruinsFan 8
Everyone that thumbs my other comment down and this one, id like to say, I hav acne all over my face. I have a very hot gf cuz shes srry for me, and she is extreamely nice.
Rick_S 3
You should go to the principal or the dean or something. That's very disrespectful and unprofessional. The teacher should know better than to say something like that. At least make sure you parent(s)/guardian(s) know.
bitchslapped22 14
He's going to go tell on his teacher to his parents?
wisese 0
4 is absolutely right. That sort of behavior is absolutely inappropriate for a teacher/student relationship. The principal should be informed and the teacher should face an appropriate penalty. And parents WANT to know if a teacher is mistreating students or behaving I appropriately.
thisisafunnyname 12
I'm not so sure about fired, unless the teacher has done this type of thing before, but would probably get in some sort of trouble. And yes, a punch or bitch slap(s) seem in order
ngarcia333 0
Report him to the principal? Over an acne joke? Tell the principal that he touched ur weewee. That'll teach him!!!! Hahahaha
lantern 6
LOL!!! Also, teachers are regular people like anyone else. Although the statement could've done without the "120th pimple" part, at least they told the OP before they went about their day with it glaring at people from their face
wisese 0
All people are regular people. Therefore, all people are expected to follow certain guidelines of socially accepted behavior as appropriate in any given situation. Teachers are not supposed to talk this way to students. Ever. It's unprofessional and inappropriate.
bitchslapped22 14
I'm just saying, if the teacher said something like that to me, I would approach him/her sometime after class and try to sort it out with them myself.
bassdredd 2
agreed, that's so disrespectful and downright mean. it's really hard having acne, I'm on medication right now fighting neck and tooth trying to get rid of this shit on my face, I wash it every day, put on numerous moisturizers and lotions, it's not fun. especially when you're in high school, it's brutal. your teacher is seriously an ignorant person, definitely report her. people like that should not be working with kids.
crymore007 11
as a highschool student I would say that this isn't really an fml UNLESS this kid is new to the school or gets picked on regularly. if it was a quote "popular" student (for lack of a better word) the whole class would laugh, the student would laugh it off and keep going. the whole thing would be forgotten after the next kid did his presentation. but maybe that's just my school xP if it's a kid that isn't so well-liked then yeah, fyl that doesn't exactly boost your self esteem. if you're new that's a horrible first impression and fyl. nowhere here did I say that the comment wasn't disrespectful. don't get me wrong. but it's not anything to get worked up about unless it's frequent.
ProhibitionRose 14
Teachers are supposed to be kind and respectful to their students. Yes, if OP mouthed off I'd kind of understand where Bad Teacher was coming from, but it was uncalled for and incredibly unprofessional. The principal and parents need to be notified. That kind of behavior is intolerable.
MusicLastForever 4
#175 I see what your saying, but it doesn't matter at ALL if your popular, weird, or new. No matter who or what you are, you have feelings. That "popular" kid might laugh it off, but no one ever forgets comments that mean. They stay in your mind forever.
cablooey 0
One of the easiest and cheapest ways to fight acne is to have a healthy diet and a healthy lifestyle. Just putting that out there. More chemicals, even certified acne soaps can make it worse. I am speaking from personal experience, as i had terrible acne and it cleared up with this method. Still in highschool also.
DocBastard 38
We all know how you feel - at times, zit sucks to have acne. But keep your pimple hand strong, your blackhead held high, and give that presentation like there's no tomorrow!
laurabev 9
I spot some puns in here, they were very zitty.
ShroomsOnAcid 16
Blackhead? That's racist!!!
wolfpack123 0
You are a fraud Doc Bastard. A real doctor wouldn't be able to take a patients x ray and post it on line. Have you ever heard of doctor/patient confidentiality?
MizzErikaHart 8
He doesn't say who the x ray belongs to so its still pretty confidential.
hugsandisses 6
Mm come here butterscotch You got some caramel? You dirty dirty boy got some caramel? Come here scotch let mamma clean that up. Mm yeah big boy mm yeahhhh!!
wolfpack123 0
You are delusional. You spend your whole day on the Internet talking about being a surgeon. When are you ever actually practicing medicine?
desireev 17
22- He's not in the US.. So the patient/doctor confidentiality laws don't apply..
KeyboardWarrior 10
#39 What are you smoking?
hugsandisses 6
Oh that wasn't meant 4 FML lol sorry...
KeyboardWarrior 10
Doc, although I'm thinking of three other possibilities of what that could be, I'm going to go ahead and ask if it's a condom. Is it a condom?
_Oblivion_ 12
Docs pic is a broken off vibrator lodged into the anus.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Oh, thanks 81. One of my other guesses was a *****, but close enough.
_Oblivion_ 12
It's always a "what the ****" moment when you figure out one of docs pics
suxs4ulol 22
If you check out his blog you see all the stories behind the pictures!
BostonBruinsFan 8
I think it is a chopped of wang stuck up an ass...but I like war ur thinking!
nickkingcool 0
you should read his blog docbastards
ladyLALAA 28
My housemates and I were last night, felt so sick reading about the junkie with the mummy hand!
benchpress550 4
Some quality reefer!! ;)
BostonBruinsFan 8
Thanks TheIsland!!(p.s. read comment #124 on shrooms comment)
BauerMegan 31
It's a damn coke bottle.
Peachy2392 26
^picture could've been something else considering the original comments were made a year and a half before you commented.
takeitandrun 13
Maybe you should see a dermatologist about your acne if it's really that bad. And yeah, FYL that lady was very rude and if it was really a distraction she could of mentioned it in a much more polite way.
takeitandrun 13
*could have My bad.
ayel14 0
Honestly you should report her,, not tellin u to snitch,, but what she said was mean
tragicnightmare 15
*beep beep beep* bitch alert!!!
deviable 9
Tampons don't go in your ass, but I like the way you think!
hayfayday 15
Ohhh. That's so rude! And so judgmental. Who cares if you have a little acne. Your probably a beautiful person! Screw her!
aaalllliiiii 6
I say literally screw and hurt her up the butt
GoW_Chick 14
I don't think the teacher was trying to be rude, just pointing out OP was bleeding. I mean you'd tell someone if they were bleeding right?
thisisafunnyname 12
You would, but the teacher was a bitch by saying 120th.
GoW_Chick 14
Maybe the teacher has OCD and couldn't help but say what number pimple it was, you never know.
hayfayday 15
I agree the teacher should have told the OP they were bleeding, but a simple "your face is bleeding" would suffice.
GoW_Chick 14
I agree it may have been a little rude, and I was just simply trying to say maybe the teacher couldn't help it, I was giving a different view to the FML, you know looking at both sides to the story instead of just OP's, but I should've known better than to not agree with the majority of FML, it never goes well.
koolkat27 13
why does everyone think that the teacher is a woman? it could have been a male teacher. just needed to get that out there.
wriptidez 0
amen
littlenumber8 8
#1 Pizza face?
sarbear293 4
Asshole?
rockerlove2013 6
I was thinking the same thing 92.... Tts mean and being a bully
BostonBruinsFan 8
******* Hot Blonde Chick? Sorry, I thought we where describing the previous commentator…FML…
PedoPancakes 7
Ugh. Acne sucks. :(
ZzkekekezZ 0
I hear ya :(