Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
anniemeece 23
Maybe not so 100%?
MegasaurusRex89 28
I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (242)
mmcrae97 9
Not anymore lol
jaychourox121 15
Not anymore you aren't
Idahome 6
definitely not 100% any more.
Flyndaran 10
Alcohol leads to mistakes. If OP considers his gay act a mistake, then he can certainly be 100% heterosexual. Orientation is about preference. I can eat a mango, but as I don't like them, I wouldn't magically become a mango-lover.
leogachi 15
I hate mangos, too, but I love your comment.
caliguy08 17
Subconsciously you won't do something that you wouldn't do consciously. So if you gave a guy a ******** when you were drunk, then you are a closet homosexual and need to rethink your life
thetoadstool 16
I wouldn't dance between four expensive guitars sober, I wouldn't even consider it, but somehow I still ended up doing just that when I got blackout drunk once. What you're saying is mostly true for drunk people, but when you're blackout drunk (or "blind drunk" as OP said), that's a different story.
blade9502 4
You can build all the houses in the world and not be called a carpenter, you can fix any car, anywhere and not be called a mechanic....but you suck one c@ck....
Poison_Girl23 11
more like 99.9999%
A_Net_70 7
Maybe your not 100% sure :/
cookie1207 19
Maybe not a 100% dude
daddysgirl8 21
I don't blame you. Dick is yummy. ^-^
91hayek 31
That's hot.