Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was at a concert and I thought the cute drummer was winking at me, so I winked back. Then I realized he was blinking sweat out his eyes. FML
Today, I went to see my new boyfriend play in a band. I found out that groupies don't like even bass players having girlfriends. I was attacked by one because he smiled at me from the stage. FML
Today, I left a gift on my colleague's desk, with a note saying I liked him. He brought it over and handed it back, and told me he's married. His Facebook says he is single. FML
Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML
Today, a girl that I've been falling for told me that she's married. But not to worry, that "won't get in the way of 'us'." FML
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
Today, I found out my friends were dating, which, OK, might seem normal. Unfortunately, I had this really big crush on this girl. I really admired her because she was a pianist and I was a violinist, and we often jammed together. I was gonna tell her, but before I could she told me she has a boyfriend now. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pleasetryagain 0
What does it matter? Isn't it better that you asked first instead of making a fool of yourself trying to hit on her? We really really need a "who the hell cares" category.
jdawg2010 0
this is a guy saying this, not a girl. men can't get pregnant. sorry :(.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
melissajo18 0
that band has to be love you long time, right?
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
Oh boooooo hoooooooo.
ZDrache 0
Well, you asked.
ashleyjaynee 0
Was this at the Believers Never Die show??
Trix_Disorder 20
Uhhhhhhh, who cares? Now you know. Innocent question.
latuka 0
you guys, shut the **** up about this not being a big deal and gain a sense of humor, this is ******* funny! and #1 that woulda been HILARIOUS except the guy probably woulda punched him lol.
walkemskies 0
we need a "nobody cares" vote and #128, you must be the type to laugh at everything that everyone says. get a real sense of humor.
synesthesia_bass 0
wow this is cool. im a bassplayer... my girlfriend plays keyboards. and she has a keytar too.
PohTayToez 0
Not a big deal, you basically just complimented someone's girlfriend.
Nother_fml 0
Sounds like Love You Long Time. $ally-Kat, their keytarist, is married to Chains, their bassist. I'll bet keytar/bass married couples in the same band are pretty few and far between. p.s. So glad other people know who the heck LYLT are.