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vet1 Pretoria, South Africa

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

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Wtf did I just read? You had to toss off a dog?

I'm trying to figure out when you would actually need to know how to do this...

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Comments (212)

olpally 32

ERMAHGERD! Lol. Oh boy, idk where to begin with this one. Lol. It's for artificial insemination purposes in that field of work and part of the course. Still, that blows. Haha

It literally blows too.

Did OP say he had to suck the dogs you-know-what? No? Then why would you relate that to "blows"? Have we stooped so low that not only do we use terribly over-used puns, but that we use them at the wrong time? Come on people.

28 - You could argue that the dog blew his load.

olpally 32

28, you take things way too seriously. Jesus. Lighten up a little.

Maybe it sounds like I overreacted but these kinds of jokes are used on every FML that gets posted. It's annoying, unnecessary and unfunny. If you are going to comment, say something insightful or imaginative otherwise don't say anything. Just my opinion. (Also, I was referring more to 18 than 11 with my initial reply, by the way.)

69- unfunny? Really? Maybe if you kept a dictionary handy you would know that "unfunny" is not a word... You should do yourself a favor and go get one ASAP.

You're more than welcome to you know, not make use of the site. Way to be a bitch about someone's joke :P

People have to right to post as they wish to aslong as it follows the rules. And I agree, way to be bitchy.

Erm, unfunny IS a word actually. Maybe it's you that needs the dictionary.

skyeyez9 24

Only reason I can think of why is having to get a semen sample for breeding? The Dog's owner doesn't want to do it himself, so takes it to the vet and pays the vet to do it instead

With your profile picture you could have made a very funny comment on the dogs behalf

Life_sucks_13 6

That's what I was thinking

I think you got trolled OP lol

You gave the dog a bone? Lmao!

This is probably the funniest comment I've ever seen XD

You must have not seen a lot of comments

Ew. Just.....ew

NagainaFier 16

It's not like OP was jerking the dog because of some weird animal kink; artificial insemination IS a thing. That, and some people have their studs tested for their counts before offering them for breeding.

Don't be a jerk; take a compliment.

That's just disturbing..but at least you proved yourself a professional?

Professional hand job giver to dogs, something to be proud of no doubt! :P

Hopefully no one video taped it an sent it into a porno website or Facebook for that matter! That'd be awkward to see a video of yourself jacking off a dog on the Internet.

olpally 32

I remember the movie "van wilder" where Ryan Reynolds jerks off that bulldog and well. You know the rest... Lmao. Best prank ever. If not. Google it!

i love that movie!

someones gotta do it i guess...

Well, some dog breeds are mostly artificially inseminated, which I'd imagine would require a vet or breeder to jerk the dog off. French Bulldogs, for instance, because their top-heaviness and narrow hips makes it hard for them to... do it. The things you learn from Animal Planet...