Today, I was assigned to empty the lavatory tank on an airplane. I haven't done this since February, when the contents ended up all over me. I thought to myself, "It can't happen again, can it?" I was wrong. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML
Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, the line for the bathroom on my flight was so long that the passenger next to me couldn't hold it any longer, so he just let it all loose in his pants. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You mean you did something the same way and expected a different result? That's some... ...wait on it... ...shitty logic!
Jon Tessler 14
ok, for those wondering how this can happen. I worked for airlines, when a ramp agent(that is what OP is) is told to "dump the lav", you have a truck that you back up to the plane. this truck has a big tank on the back where you remove the lavatory(toilet) waste. when you are in position, you open a cover, and then hook up a hose, that you twist to lock into place. if you don't twist it until it locks, the hose can come off. there is an inner locked flap on the drain(that sometimes is not locked back into place by the last person who serviced the lav). after you unlock the inner flap, there is a pull handle, that you pull to dump the contents of the waste tank. since this is a simple gravity drain, it all comes out at one time. if the hose is not securely locked in place, it comes off and you get whatever waste is in the tank all over you. I hope this clears things up for everyone.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
cacheson 42
Is it just me or is the wording on this FML kind of confusing?
Jon Tessler 14
so you got "smurfed". congrats, it happens to the best ramp agents from time to time.
wrenavery90 12
Obviously you're doing it wrong. Maybe you need training?
RichardPencil 32
You mean you did something the same way and expected a different result? That's some... ...wait on it... ...shitty logic!
SirEnigM0nk 22
Talk about a crappy shituation; definitely get some assistance next time.
Jon Tessler 14
ok, for those wondering how this can happen. I worked for airlines, when a ramp agent(that is what OP is) is told to "dump the lav", you have a truck that you back up to the plane. this truck has a big tank on the back where you remove the lavatory(toilet) waste. when you are in position, you open a cover, and then hook up a hose, that you twist to lock into place. if you don't twist it until it locks, the hose can come off. there is an inner locked flap on the drain(that sometimes is not locked back into place by the last person who serviced the lav). after you unlock the inner flap, there is a pull handle, that you pull to dump the contents of the waste tank. since this is a simple gravity drain, it all comes out at one time. if the hose is not securely locked in place, it comes off and you get whatever waste is in the tank all over you. I hope this clears things up for everyone.