hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
unsuckable
Denver, United States
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Cebu City, Philippines
Jaws
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
santasadiekins
United States
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Top comments
quantumoftruth 0
did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard
ZiggyMorrison 0
hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?
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Comments (198)
loveme_loveme 0
i love how the FML is that it's the first mouth to touch his penis. not that an ant bit his penis...
theironuterus 0
You really shouldn't put ants on your dick there, chief
Lesiliexx 0
#4 xD
Jellybones 0
That's what you get for ******* ant hills. I learned my lesson a long time ago.
Gotz_No_Love 1
ants have mandibles, so they technically can "bite." they usually sting. this FML depends on age. same thing happened to my friend though, except it was a tick.
omar_fml 0
wait...how did you get an ant over there?
BluEG0pher 0
did you get that ant's number?
8dice 0
i agree with #14
italia33 0
its the most precious part of your body, how the hell did you let an ant get in there?
anitacs9101 0
Ick, one time I was eating a popsicle with my feet in the pool, and some dripped down inbetween my legs, which sent ants attacking. I only noticed it when I felt a little tickle down there and looked to see tons of the little things crawling in and out my bathing suit.