Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
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By
xxjordan715xx
| 17
I'm sorry OP, that must really suck. Hopefully they can give you some medicine to help with swelling and pain!
Reply
False_Stupidity
| 41
I'm sure this is not what OP had in mind for having a swell time...
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
Well once it clears up at least he won't be unsuckable anymore. (OPs name)
By
MagnusDeus
| 24
Gives a whole new meaning to pissing fire.
Sorry OP
Sorry OP
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
Talk about a Cockburn...
By
TheAnon1313
| 28
Aw you poor guy. Hope the doctor managed to prescribe something to help with the pain.
By
Garrett2818
| 21
Damn that's fucked up. At least you probably have some solid girth now hahahah.
By
nikkipettyfer
| 24
Oh my.....
By
danthehuman
| 29
:(
By
IridianShadow
| 20
You shouldn't make it a habit to fall asleep outside. What happened was truly awful. But at the very least it wasn't a Brazilian walking spider.
Reply
I_Like_Dogs
| 28
Is there such thing as a Brazilian spider? Well shit.
Reply
IamHercules
| 24
"How much is a Brazilian?"
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JustinJK
| 21
Brazilian wandering spiders are scary af
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I_Like_Dogs
| 28
Holy shit I just googled it. We call it "armadeira", never knew it was common here. Goodbye cruel world.
By
MaximumBeat
| 16
I'm so sorry OP, and considering that fire ants are related to bees and wasps, and not ants, that must have been a pain. Also you may want to take Benadryl to keep the histamine reaction down. Feel better soon OP!
Reply
AnOriginalName
| 19
Well bees, ants, and wasps are all in the family Hymenoptera so they're all related to each other. It's just that some species hurt a lot more than others.
By
Aquila_Umbrae
| 26
Well that certainly bites.
By
howard007
| 18
Whole new meaning to fire crotch, ouch
Sorry OP