FML : Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the...

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By unsuckable - / Friday 28 August 2015 06:13 / United States - Denver

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Top comments

By howard007 | 18

#6395783 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:37

Whole new meaning to fire crotch, ouch

By MagnusDeus | 23

#6395765 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:31

Gives a whole new meaning to pissing fire.
Sorry OP

Comments

By xxjordan715xx | 17

#6395760 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:30

I'm sorry OP, that must really suck. Hopefully they can give you some medicine to help with swelling and pain!

False_Stupidity | 41

#6395875 - Friday 28 August 2015 22:43

I'm sure this is not what OP had in mind for having a swell time...

onlychildFTW | 33

#6395930 - Saturday 29 August 2015 0:29

Well once it clears up at least he won't be unsuckable anymore. (OPs name)

By MagnusDeus | 23

#6395765 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:31

Gives a whole new meaning to pissing fire.
Sorry OP

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6396128 - Saturday 29 August 2015 5:33

Talk about a Cockburn...

By TheAnon1313 | 28

#6395766 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:32

Aw you poor guy. Hope the doctor managed to prescribe something to help with the pain.

By Garrett2818 | 21

#6395767 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:32

Damn that's fucked up. At least you probably have some solid girth now hahahah.

By nikkipettyfer | 24

#6395772 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:33

Oh my.....

By danthehuman | 29

#6395773 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:33

By IridianShadow | 20

#6395778 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:35

You shouldn't make it a habit to fall asleep outside. What happened was truly awful. But at the very least it wasn't a Brazilian walking spider.

I_Like_Dogs | 28

#6395866 - Friday 28 August 2015 22:28

Is there such thing as a Brazilian spider? Well shit.

IamHercules | 24

#6395894 - Friday 28 August 2015 23:09

"How much is a Brazilian?"

JustinJK | 21

#6395895 - Friday 28 August 2015 23:09

Brazilian wandering spiders are scary af

I_Like_Dogs | 28

#6395972 - Saturday 29 August 2015 1:31

Holy shit I just googled it. We call it "armadeira", never knew it was common here. Goodbye cruel world.

By MaximumBeat | 16

#6395779 - Friday 28 August 2015 20:35

I'm so sorry OP, and considering that fire ants are related to bees and wasps, and not ants, that must have been a pain. Also you may want to take Benadryl to keep the histamine reaction down. Feel better soon OP!

AnOriginalName | 19

#6395939 - Saturday 29 August 2015 0:54

Well bees, ants, and wasps are all in the family Hymenoptera so they're all related to each other. It's just that some species hurt a lot more than others.