By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 870
You deserved it 4 155
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howard007 18
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Whole new meaning to fire crotch, ouch

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MagnusDeus 24
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Gives a whole new meaning to pissing fire. Sorry OP

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xxjordan715xx 17
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I'm sorry OP, that must really suck. Hopefully they can give you some medicine to help with swelling and pain!

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False_Stupidity 41
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I'm sure this is not what OP had in mind for having a swell time...

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onlychildFTW 33
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Well once it clears up at least he won't be unsuckable anymore. (OPs name)

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MagnusDeus 24
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Gives a whole new meaning to pissing fire. Sorry OP

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incoherentrmblr 21

Talk about a Cockburn...

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TheAnon1313 28
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Aw you poor guy. Hope the doctor managed to prescribe something to help with the pain.

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Garrett2818 21
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Damn that's fucked up. At least you probably have some solid girth now hahahah.

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IridianShadow 20

You shouldn't make it a habit to fall asleep outside. What happened was truly awful. But at the very least it wasn't a Brazilian walking spider.

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I_Like_Dogs 28
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Is there such thing as a Brazilian spider? Well shit.

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IamHercules 24
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"How much is a Brazilian?"

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JustinJK 21

Brazilian wandering spiders are scary af

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I_Like_Dogs 28
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Holy shit I just googled it. We call it "armadeira", never knew it was common here. Goodbye cruel world.

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MaximumBeat 16

I'm so sorry OP, and considering that fire ants are related to bees and wasps, and not ants, that must have been a pain. Also you may want to take Benadryl to keep the histamine reaction down. Feel better soon OP!

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AnOriginalName 19

Well bees, ants, and wasps are all in the family Hymenoptera so they're all related to each other. It's just that some species hurt a lot more than others.

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Aquila_Umbrae 26
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Well that certainly bites.

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howard007 18
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Whole new meaning to fire crotch, ouch

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