hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
unsuckable
Denver, United States
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Cebu City, Philippines
Jaws
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
santasadiekins
United States
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Top comments
quantumoftruth 0
did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard
ZiggyMorrison 0
hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
Dianegoesboom 0
LOL, how did it get down there, haha.
Tsukasa_fml 0
That's not what the anthills are for!
justtryin2help 0
he was probably playing in his sandbox
WildBill1337 0
an ant bite? give me a break. try getting a freakin jellyfish tangled in your swimtrunks. the next week was quite uncomfortable.
jam250 0
Is your uncle next?
akngoah3843 0
thats bs. YDI
fml12351 0
why was an aunt on your dick? is it that small that a bug can suck it? maybe thats why no girls have been down there . VIVA VIAGRA$$$
evilteriyaki301 0
WOW
basketball03 0
how did it get in ur pants.. were u trying out a new way to ********** or soemthing...
Bflame7 0
Big deal man I'm 14 and I have never even kissed a girl or had a girlfriend before let alone gotten head from one.