hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
unsuckable
Denver, United States
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Cebu City, Philippines
Jaws
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
santasadiekins
United States
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Top comments
quantumoftruth 0
did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard
ZiggyMorrison 0
hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?
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Comments (198)
illgutcha 0
U were laying on the beach right? I had red ants attack me once on the beach but they never made it to my penis thank god!
helloproto12 0
this fml sucks
randomhappyguy 0
how did it get up there?
tdawgheath 0
#19 yea really. this guy's probably like 15 years old... so it's not really a big deal... Or 20, and same thing, just convince your girlfriend to blow you....when you get one...which you have plenty of life to get one...
Rantie 0
Ha #4 (thumbs up)
Mikeymikey 4
damn ure an antophile!!! GET THE **** OUT!!!
esclave_fml 0
Agree with #14.
finallyhappyat48 0
this made me lol.
AnneFTW 17
Wow how tragic... Get over it it's not that big of a deal.
NceGuysDntFinsh 0
._. The biting occurred outside of the ant's mouth so it wasn't the first mouth to touch your penis. Hope this helps ._.