hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
unsuckable
Denver, United States
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Cebu City, Philippines
Jaws
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
santasadiekins
United States
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Top comments
quantumoftruth 0
did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard
ZiggyMorrison 0
hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?
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Comments (198)
ieatunicorns4fun 3
Peete would be very upset at this
Chick7749 0
Well really depends on your age?
tdamore 2
why is there a question mark at the end of your sentence?
KingreX32 21
how did an ant get on your man part in the first place? How does that happen? Where you streaking and trip and fell on an ant hill?
zomgbies 17
stop stickin ur winky in anthills
morgana2764 8
Technically it wasn't even the mouth, it was its butt stinging you cuz ants dont bite. First time giving anal? Lol
how_to_implode 17
Umm ... ants definitely bite, and they don't have stingers on their butts. You're thinking of bees there.
tbone2018 6
It's mouth actually didn't touch your penis, it was the pincers in front of its mouth. So a person's mouth can still be the first one.
how_to_implode 17
Hey, ants get lonely too.
juwannaman 11
They don't bite with their mouth
Janawa 22
Tough break buddy.
SofiaM0517 8
How the **** does an ant bite your penis