Health: Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it...

By UhOh - 08/07/2011 20:38 - United States

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 163

You deserved it 88 984

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Same thing different taste

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 893

You deserved it 3 002

By fgbh456 - 28/12/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 129

You deserved it 2 384

By ccat209 - 20/12/2016 04:05 - United States - Riverton

Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 680

You deserved it 9 069

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 8 186

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 978

You deserved it 43 662

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 141

It's just liquid fun

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 05:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 050

You deserved it 3 033

Glass houses and all that

By mirrorfad - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 904

You deserved it 3 344

By Sean - 25/12/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 244

You deserved it 53 858

By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 13:56 - United States

Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 091

You deserved it 2 772

Keyman1212 14

Saturday 9 July 2011 0:43

Yelling Douchebags Incorporated.

philtheawesome 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 0:41

what about for the last few weeks? I thought Friday was every week...

Comments

YDIyaisaidit 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 4:32

i feel no sympathy for u

justanothagirl 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 5:19

I don't get it :(

TheHexagon 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 5:36

^ pfft lol. stop bein cheap and buy your own.

b_rowe55 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 5:50

ehh

robberry 11

Sunday 10 July 2011 6:59

You're an idiot, and should not kill more brain cells with booze!

kay729 7

Sunday 10 July 2011 7:08

why did you even think that would work?

Allymeme 3

Sunday 10 July 2011 8:27

I love my cat

Tess_fml 7

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:13

I love my dog.

Happiness2Joy 3

Sunday 10 July 2011 8:38

Go buy more?

prototype121 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 18:34

if your body doesn't need it why take it...

kitkat98_fml 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 20:22

wait, in don't get it. whats going on?

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Today, I called one of my coworkers to ask him where he was, because I needed him to come downstairs. After 2 minutes of yelling on the phone to come downstairs, I realized I'd called the wrong person, and was actually on the phone with my ex-boyfriend, who took me 6 months to get over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 1 061

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 520

You deserved it 36 841

Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 361

You deserved it 22 606

Today, I finally got a job so I could stop missing out on going out with my friends every weekend. Turns out I work only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, and there's no way around it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 473

You deserved it 4 864

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 472

You deserved it 2 363

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 540

You deserved it 4 398