Health: Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it...

By UhOh - 08/07/2011 20:38 - United States

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 163

You deserved it 88 985

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 893

You deserved it 3 002

By fgbh456 - 28/12/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 129

You deserved it 2 384

By ccat209 - 20/12/2016 04:05 - United States - Riverton

Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 680

You deserved it 9 069

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 8 186

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 978

You deserved it 43 662

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 141

It's just liquid fun

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 05:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 050

You deserved it 3 033

Glass houses and all that

By mirrorfad - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 904

You deserved it 3 344

By Sean - 25/12/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 244

You deserved it 53 858

By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 13:56 - United States

Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 091

You deserved it 2 772

Keyman1212 14

Saturday 9 July 2011 0:43

Yelling Douchebags Incorporated.

philtheawesome 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 0:41

what about for the last few weeks? I thought Friday was every week...

Comments

alphabetsoup1234 13

Monday 15 August 2011 23:19

For sure you deserved it. Hmmmmmmm

hunterspicer55 0

Friday 16 September 2011 8:59

You sir are an idiot

alinka_fml 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 21:37

so stop complaining and go buy a new bottle

Kiirst_mt1994 26

Wednesday 19 October 2011 2:18

karma is a bitch

copy126 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 8:28

You are just a dumb **** end of story

katestrophic 6

Saturday 19 November 2011 8:15

Welp, that sounds like a personal problem to me.

Callyn 47

Sunday 27 November 2011 20:26

I can only have so much sympathy for morons who steal their parents liquor.

xXNickiiBabyXx 11

Monday 21 November 2011 10:31

blame someone else if not ur screwed.....

jtaylor991 6

Friday 23 December 2011 18:40

i dont get it...you drank her vodka and replaced it with water and she drinks on fridays. how is your life a ticking time bomb?? wtf dumbass

midnight21 8

Saturday 12 May 2012 6:09

Why would you post this as an FML? You deserve this so much I can't even stand to think about you. I hope you get your ass kicked, you drunk.

kmwilson 0

Monday 4 June 2012 23:51

How old ate you You shouldn't drink in the first place

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I miss what it’s like to be in college. I didn’t know life after graduation was so empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 216

Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 353

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 383

You deserved it 3 367

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 233

You deserved it 47 268

Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 372

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 830

You deserved it 1 310