By unmarried - 04/05/2016 00:39 - Canada - Weston

Today, my fiancé received his divorce papers. Thanks to his procrastinating, his divorce is effective May 29th. We're supposed to get married on May 28th. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 294
You deserved it 5 289

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I can't feel sorry for you because you knew he was still legally married, yet you planned your own wedding to him. The smart thing would have been to wait until his divorce was final, especially since you know him and know he's a procrastinator

Can you sign the papers and stuff on the 30th but still have the ceremony on the 28th? Anyway, so sorry OP.

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That sucks, sorry to hear

Bigamist for a day?

Can you sign the papers and stuff on the 30th but still have the ceremony on the 28th? Anyway, so sorry OP.

This is the best way around it. I was almost in a similar position because my ex husband screwed up the paperwork on his end. My new husband and I were ready to sign the papers later if need be because we knew we were cutting it close with the wedding date.

You could also cancel the officiant, get a friend to do the "ceremony" have a party, then go to city hall the next day. Unless you're in a church where and don't have a choice for your officiant.

You have to go to the courthouse to get the official documents after the wedding, no? So you can still have the ceremony.

I can't feel sorry for you because you knew he was still legally married, yet you planned your own wedding to him. The smart thing would have been to wait until his divorce was final, especially since you know him and know he's a procrastinator

Deadlines are powerful motivators for procrastinators. They might have set the date so that he would get on it sooner.

Well, I can feel sorry for the OP even knowing all that. It's called basic human empathy.

mariri9206 32

I agree with #6. Should have waited until you heard about the divorce being finalized before setting a wedding date.

Well played fairyjoshie! Said with much more tact than I would have, for sure. It really grinds my nerves when pompous judgmental D-bags spew their tirades as if their shit don't stink...

Clearly not powerful enough on this case #28....

It sounds kinda fishy being married so soon. How long has they been separated and were YOU the other woman that partially caused their marriage to fail?

You don't know how things worked out with his first marriage. His wife and he could have been living separately for a couple of years before he (or the wife) decided to follow through with the divorce papers. OR it was a contested divorce which takes however long the contesting party wants to draw it out.

My wife and I were separated for three years before I found out she got knocked up by some dude and I raced my ass down to the court house to file divorce. I was in it for the tax break after she left.

Colon man is also a wise man.

Exactly. My parents separated when I was 8, but never felt the need to officially divorce until I was about 16, and my dad decided to remarry (might have been done sooner if same-sex marriage was legal, as my mum was in a committed same-sex relationship for 5 years at that point). Not every marriage needs a divorce straight up, they might still keep the legal stuff for the sake of the kids (at least, my guess), or just not care enough, if they still get along (in my case, it's probably obvious that my dad simply didn't resent my mum for coming out as a lesbian).

You should date someone for atleast two years before deciding on something like marriage. If it took him that long to sign papers then that's certainly procrastinating and he's probably not a guy you would want to depend on. If not....good luck! ?

Divorces can take years

And cost piles of $$... At least where I live.

Divorce costs a Shit ton of money. hence why my parents are still legally married but have been separated for 23 years.

mariri9206 32

My parents separated when I was three and didn't get their divorced finalized until I was, like, nine because my dad dragged it out when it came to custody and alimony. Divorce can take a long time, even if you're on good terms with the person, and it's entirely possible that OP started dating her fiancé after he separated from his wife.

Get married, but don't sign/file the paperwork until a few days later?

This one should definitely have a "You Deserved It" button.

Because apparently "common sense" is not so common anymore. =_=.... Which is exactly why people blame OP for the actions of her fiancé.

Reply to #16: She chose to plan a wedding with him, knowing that his divorce was not yet final.

It's a shame you can't up vote staff

In reply to #16: Like others said, she should have made sure the divorce was finalized before planning the wedding.