By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Spicy
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 534
You deserved it 8 859
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Comments

jillianmathers12 13

Don't you just hate that FML's start with today! It makes this one sound retarted!

jillianmathers12 13

Yeah???? What's do bad about it?

FUUUandyourmom 16

Sirin, why can't we thumbs up mod's comments?

57 2
jillianmathers12 13

How do you become a part of the FML team?

0 92
RaenaMae 0

. . Sirin was pointing out that you spelt Retarded wrong. Lol

49 2
jillianmathers12 13

Oh I didn't even notice and I don't know why I spelt it that way I know how to spell it and I have auto correct!

3 91
trevishere 7

And I bet to become a part of the team... you don't whine about the way thy want it, starting with 'Today.' Without that I bet someone would put 'Wanker, I had sex and I'm still medically a virgin. Screw me.'

36 2
haw008 14

If your phone didn't autocorrect "retarted" then it just hasn't recognized your name yet.

56 6
nerdfighteria 7

11- The "Today" introduction sounds perfectly fine in the context of this FML, I don't know what you're talking about. And if you're going to use a word like "retarded" as an insult, at least spell it correctly.

29 1
tona01 16

Kaysl ahh the chantalownz event, I forgot about that, thank you for reminding me. It was one of the funniest days of my life.

9 1
tona01 16

Ohh and to be a part of the FML team you need brains too. As I already told you, you annoy me, you annoy the depths of my mind and of my soul. You annoy me. I mean jillian of course.

13 1
Coolguyt2 0

Yeah I agree with #81, except it's more accurate to say these people are the spelling police instead of grammar police. It's pretty sad an pathetic you nerds care about spelling over the internet. If you morons are whining about spelling on the internet then you never got laid before an you need to get a life...

0 0
Coolguyt2 0

Rofl I love how these people have nothin better to do than criticize peoples' spelling on the internet

0 0
KiddNYC1O 20

Sighh. Thirteen year-olds can be annoying. This site should really be 17+...

23 4
LiveLaughFML 10

#145: i understand where you're coming from, but you're only speaking from experience with "kids" or people who are under 17 who have done some foolish things on FML. i promise, not all of us are like that :-)

19 1
KiddNYC1O 20

Okay. It should be LiveLaughFML+ :P

8 3
TXjuggalo972 6

When sirin calls you out You don't reply and you surely don't ask to join the fml team *sigh*

27 1
The_Troller 14

153- Glad to know there are sane people of my/our age group on this site. I was getting doubts when I saw the first few replies to this comment...

9 1
The_Troller 14

The ones by jillianmathers...

6 1
SummerFever 8

You must be either blind or ******* retarded to not realize that every story starts with "Today". Either way, I would lay off injecting LSD into your corneas.

12 1
jdawg2010 0

no it doesn't. he's saying that his girlfriend went to the doctor today..derp.

0 3
tona01 16

104 i saw once in sirin's website a mod named rachel, i'm not sure though

0 0
SimoneDymond 3

If your autocorrect didn't correct that, then it's not a very smart phone after all.

10 1
DHoffmann 9

You're making a bad representation of us Canadians, jillian. :|

9 1
ohmandapants 16

81- it's not a matter of being the "grammar police". It's just ironic that she would be calling something retarded, without being able to spell the word retarded.

7 1
Llama_Face89 33

20- it's retarDed. Also so. And any FML is required to start with today and end with FML.

2 1
allthatremains25 0

153- if you are implying that you are mature and not annoying why does your info talk about drinking and sex. Your 14.

1 8
ohmandapants 16

365- what does that have to do with anything? First of all, that's a rhyme of some kind. Second of all, she has better grammar than you do. Get over yourself

9 0
hateevryone 14

well if at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again.

24 2
devinewind 4

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
19 59
ShroomsOnAcid 16

Re read it. He said today is the day after he had sex with his girlfriend.

20 1
grands138 4

All FML posts start with "Today,". And the correct spelling of the car is 'DeLorean'. Moron.

26 1
ikickgingers 15

Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain...

17 1
Enslaved 36

"Lorraine, my density has bought me to you." ***Seems fitting, since we're talking about size.

10 1
ReesesPuffs 0

Maybe you did it wrong...

24 5
chosha_fml 26

#13 When you post an FML, the word today is already there and you can't delete it. That's why every FML starts like that.

17 1
Coolguyt2 0

I don't understand why they all start with 'today.' An you can actually delete it when you go to write an FML, but I doubt it'll get posted then

0 0
TipOfTheHat 10

Try, try and try again! You can do it all night long!

4 4
Sonic_boomerang 5

Maybe she just has a huge ******? How come it's always the guys not big enough?

47 10
penguinazul 13

Since when does a girl's hymen have to break for her virginity to be lost? Virginity = penis in ******, last time I checked, and wouldn't that mean a girl could "lose her virginity" by using a tampon or a vibrator?

7 9
XXFMLXXQUEENXX 29

Virginity only means that there has been a penis in a ******. So if they had sex, it doesn't matter how big or small he is, she is still technically not a virgin. Also, the hymen doesn't break or tear. You can't like pop it. The hymen only stretches and it can tear from daily activities.

1 1