Miscellaneous: Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/10/2011 16:22 - United States

Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 530

You deserved it 35 782

Help!

What about me?

The client is always right

By hopelessteej - 28/01/2013 13:55 - Australia - Sydney

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 079

You deserved it 4 082

Thanks Felicia

By Aric - 08/10/2020 05:01

Today, I arrived at the airport two and a half hours early because I was expecting it to be busy. The line was long but I had plenty of time, until a woman complained about a fee for checked bags. I was next in line, and still managed to miss my flight because the woman caused such a big scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 85

Happy New Year, maybe

By boardAtTheHospital - 01/01/2022 05:00

Today, I'm home alone and it blows, especially since my wife has to stay at the hospital to get chemo, and I can't stay with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 77

By fecurtis - 22/01/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 415

You deserved it 37 320

By Fefe - 13/07/2010 02:43 - United States

Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 668

You deserved it 18 189

By Rachel - 10/06/2011 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 915

You deserved it 13 463

By Anonymous - 14/09/2014 16:38 - Ghana - Accra

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 603

You deserved it 20 794

By Anonymous - 27/07/2018 08:00 - United States - Macon

Today, as I was pulling into work at 15 weeks pregnant, I projectile vomit all over myself and my vehicle. I had an emotional breakdown as I went back home, and called my boss to let him know I would not be in that day. I am now looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 982

You deserved it 497

By SeverelyAnnoyed - 31/03/2016 17:53 - Netherlands

Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 491

You deserved it 1 129

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 06:09 - Australia

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 922

You deserved it 4 265

By Anonymous - 21/08/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 234

You deserved it 3 128

By Hellau - 29/12/2008 10:56 - France

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 344

You deserved it 3 087

By peridot1aa - 24/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 553

You deserved it 207

By oh - 06/12/2013 21:20 - Denmark - Viborg

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 938

You deserved it 3 679

By Anonymous - 28/05/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 938

You deserved it 13 931

By kk- - 17/06/2019 17:05

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me and I'd chained-smoked all night, I had a driving test. With only 3 hours of sleep, I literally drove through a red light during the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 2 818

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

By malicemassacre - 17/01/2021 23:01

Today, I found out that the rivalry between my boyfriend and my only friend I have in this city was just a cover up. I'm now a single mom of a 2 year-old and a 5 month-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 140

Not so special

By Anonymous - 03/04/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, the guy I've been dating and sleeping with told me he is also dating another woman, but that they only kiss. I was under the impression we were exclusive for two months now, since I told him if we slept together that it would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 399

By noname - 13/12/2008 05:48 - France

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 749

You deserved it 2 945

Idiocracy

By Faith - 09/02/2021 11:01

Today, I got my vacation days denied because I'm "too valuable", while the moron I work with gets his days off because he's "easy to do without." Well, I guess I won't be spending much time with my girlfriend who flew across the country to see me. Glad I'm such a valuable employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 041

You deserved it 5 591

By annababyyyy - 10/11/2014 05:01 - United States - Rockville

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 547

You deserved it 7 448

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 040

You deserved it 2 393

Parental fear

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 02:01

Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 252

Alexa, play "Jump" by Van Halen

By Thescarlettfox - 01/03/2020 21:00

Today, I had the brilliant idea of jumping off a swing at its highest point. I can now add two things to my list of accomplishments: making out with a tree and breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 1 324

Miss Pissy

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 1 800

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 122

You deserved it 840

By Anon - 03/10/2009 11:43 - Australia

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 475

You deserved it 5 179

By TommyNoFeet - 04/12/2017 06:00

Today, my third day training for a half marathon, I tripped and broke both of my ankles and one wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 607

You deserved it 380

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 18:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 368

You deserved it 7 338

By NoCookForYou - 22/08/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 618

You deserved it 5 814

By crazyjohnny - 01/06/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 300

You deserved it 7 945

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 425

You deserved it 2 163

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 690

You deserved it 48 462

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 148

You deserved it 3 303

By SpeakerPhone - 14/11/2009 17:31 - France

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 719

You deserved it 7 297

Blind love

By sorry - 25/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Columbus

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I slightly hesitated when she asked if she was beautiful. I am blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 490

You deserved it 209

By lynxstorm - 17/11/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 011

You deserved it 11 514

By heartbroke - 03/11/2012 10:02 - United States - Erie

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 438

You deserved it 3 453

By desertboi69 - 16/03/2019 16:00 - United States - Ridgecrest

Today, I was preparing my raw meat with tire grease. Literally. My girlfriend replaced my teriyaki sauce with tire grease, because, she later told me, she had sex with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 438

You deserved it 202

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

TimysterGates 15

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:00

you should try this new cool thing, it's called STUDYING REALLY HARD (:

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 21:58

Hopefully you're learning golf.

Comments

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 21:57

if you had another chance, a chance you asked for yourself, you should learn your ass off

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:11

N that my friends is the definition of hopeless

ducttapewallet 7

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 1:52

Was the test on quantum physics? Jesus...

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 3:36

STUDY BITCH!!

crazychick1269 7

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 3:42

hey most people study really hard and just blank out due to nervousness when taking the test:(

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 6:35

Then you better start busting your balls, and if your lucky (and pray like it's Jesus's second coming) McDonalds MIGHT hire you.

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 21:58

Hopefully you're learning golf.

ikickgingers 15

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:20

I feel like a joke about the back nine and a ball washer should be put into play...

kbt13 0

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 21:59

had sex with him/her for nothing.

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:10

Yeahhhh bitch

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:11

Doesn't matter, had sex, so it wasn't for nothing.

TimysterGates 15

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:00

you should try this new cool thing, it's called STUDYING REALLY HARD (:

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:00

ask yur teacher for another retake

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 0:01

I'm kind of ashamed to have the same first name as you. -.-

CookieMonstr19 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 0:35

Yeah right...

CookieMonstr19 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 0:36

Are you,by any chance, home-schooled. I don't think u understand how teachers work.

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 1:36

You my friend, are retarded.

Pinkkmissymoo 7

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 3:29

49- why the fuck would you say that? No matter how dumb op is, like wtf? ....how would YOU like it if who you were was used as an insult? Jus sayin.

Drummerboy1234 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:12

I think 49 wouldn't give a fuck

thisisafunnyname 12

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 22:20

Do you understand that the teacher was being extremely nice by giving a retake in the first place? Usually if you get a bad grade you have to suck it up and study your fuckin balls off for the next five tests to bring your average up

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:01

Third times the charm?.....no?

GVirdi 11

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:10

I honestly don't get how u get so many thumbs up by implying OP shud retake again but megan_love gets so many thumbs down for saying OP shud retake again o:

Send a private message

Tuesday 1 November 2011 13:13

Because im being sarcastic dumbass

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:02

Solution: Do work.

Random_Person88 8

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:02

Did you even try to study?

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:03

Usually you study for a retake...usually

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 22:03

Didn't you know at least some correct answers from the first one?

Send a private message

Monday 31 October 2011 23:54

Maybe he answered randomly the first time xD so he couldn't know which were correct or not..

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 8

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 982

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 1 141