Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML
Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML
Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
hahaha! You deserve it for thinking she is obliged to get you an expensive present just because you got her an expensive one.
jonnyMAGNUM 0
Christmas is about giving, not getting. Try not to be selfish.
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Comments (101)
TyIsGeek 0
that's what receipts are for. you're dumb anyway!
TryptamineDreame 0
A bracelet though? Why not a coach bag for her and your own Oakley's? Thats $700 right there.
stlphil 0
You can't ever win. Get nothing and you're in the dog house. Get her something and you're in the dog house.
Lagasee 0
Well, Christmas is a time of giving .... still .... Shes a bitch! :)
tencentsakiss 19
When she said "expect less", it just meant "I'm dumping you for being a selfish, materialistic prick who thinks I have $300 to blow on one person's sunglasses this Christmas when I have other people's presents to buy too, including family members who mean a hell of a lot more to me than you". She even told you she doesn't want anything, and maybe there is a reason for that. Ever thought about that? Clearly you don't know her at all. Why the hell are you buying expensive bracelets for someone who you haven't been dating long enough to respect when she can't afford expensive presents? I hate you so much right now.
Tempuser117 2
You don't have to have a lot of money to give a gift. If your broke you can make a "coupon" book for free night of you doing the dishes, back rub, running an errand for her, any number of house chores especially ones she hates, watching kids (if there are any involved) so she can go hang out with her friends, picnic lunch, walk on the beach, etc. The list goes on and on. It's as easy as writing them up and then she can turn them in whenever she wants to. It's simple, easy, cheap, and girls (most of them) like the fact you spend a little time thinking about them and what you could do for them. And depending on the coupon you get to spend more time with them or help them out somehow. You could use blank business cards, or even just tape some together.
gusgus36 5
oakleys aren't very expensive compared to $700 for sure... but if you guys hadn't discussed at all how overboard to go on presents, you knew you were taking a risk buying such an expensive present. I say you should just tell her you already got her a really nice present, and leave it at that. it will be nice if she gets you oakleys, but maybe she really can't afford it. it was readily rude of her to tell you to expect less than nothing though
gusgus36 5
*really. not readily. dumb phone
Falken45 0
she's hinting ya that she's gonna break up w/ u. tis the season for that. true fact
tencentsakiss 19
Wayyyyyy to steal my idea ;)
zenti 2
If you can afford a $700 bracelet, then you can afford a $150 pair of Oakleys. Why even expect her to give you that? I thought that gifts were supposed to be a surprise. It's nothing if you tell her what to get you and then you know that she's going to get it for you. That's more like an expensive grocery list.
wriptidez 0
ydi for expecting in return