Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML
Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML
Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
hahaha! You deserve it for thinking she is obliged to get you an expensive present just because you got her an expensive one.
jonnyMAGNUM 0
Christmas is about giving, not getting. Try not to be selfish.
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Comments (101)
MonkeySpeaks 4
Never buy a present expecting one in return. Takes away the meaning. You either discuss it first or you get her something for the sole purpose of wanting to give to someone you care for.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#64 Exactly. You shouldn't give someone a gift because you think they expect it or to get something back. You should want to give someone a gift because you know they would love it and you want them to know that you care.
bobsanction 18
What kind of douchecanoe would want a pair of sunglasses that expensive anyways? YDI for being a douchecanoe.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#66 He got her a bracelet, not sunglasses. Your point still stands, though.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Oh, nevermind. I didn't realize that Oakleys are sunglasses. I'm not up on what brands are "hip" these days. I think I'm secretly 70 years old and even I don't know it.
Karirecord 0
I'll take the bracelet :D haha
bugmenotmofo 34
Hmmm... he had no idea his girlfriend is not into giving, OR GETTING, expensive Christmas gifts. Or perhaps not in a financial position to do so. I'd say he made some huge assumptions. Hope he saved the receipt and learned his lesson. And BTW, a woman who doesn't care about gifts? My boyfriend has a word for a girlfriend like that: keeper.
boatkicker 5
YDI for expecting to get an expensive gift, just because you got her one FYL if she actually said that you shouldn't get her anything, and should expect less. If she doesn't think she should have to put the same amount of effort into your relationship that you are expected to, than you'd probably be better off breaking up with her.
hollylollyxoxo 0
never buy your girlfriends expensive gifts like that! save your money for your wife, you're gonna need it lol
pasiphae9 5
Personally, I'm terrible at getting people presents. So I don't get anyone anything, and make it clear they they shouldn't get me presents either. It saves so much hassle to just make christmas about spending time with each other instead of worrying about whether the presents you got each other are nice enough or expensive enough or whether they are only pretending to like them to spare your feelings etc. Maybe the OP's girlfriend thinks the same way?
Flammin8 0
well just sneak the bracket back and return it...buy her a Dr.Phil book
allmidnighteyes 11
I got that bitch a bracelet. Bitches loooove bracelets.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Not all ladies love ridiculously expensive bracelets.
allmidnighteyes 11
It was a reference to the show Boondocks, where one of the guys says, "I sent that bitch a smiley face; bitches looove smiley faces." youtube.com/watch?v=QCa9f8cPRbk
nerdsgetmehot 23
Ah, gotcha. Sorry about that! I'm not familiar with that show.
russian153 4
he's a goldigger