Today, after being together for 8 months, I learned that not... - FML

By Danny - 12/9/2018 20:30

Today, after being together for 8 months, I learned that not only was my boyfriend a liar, but that he is also married and has been for 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2970

You deserved it

248

Tweet

Share

Caught red-handed

Nice neighborhood

Compassion

By lunab123 - 31/12/2015 20:59 - United States - Potomac

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30486

You deserved it

12826

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/9/2019 22:01 - United States

Planned Parenthood

Today, I got the biggest shock in my life, I'm a mistake, and the only reason why I wasn't put up for adoption is because of the tax refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1635

You deserved it

107

Tweet

Share

By WtfDoIDo?! - 2/7/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2035

You deserved it

213

Tweet

Share

By shroooms - 28/7/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36584

You deserved it

3051

Tweet

Share

By Jbheller - 3/5/2015 00:08 - United States - Mountain Top

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33249

You deserved it

3103

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/9/2014 16:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39606

You deserved it

4013

Tweet

Share

By shugberry - 1/9/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my mum on the London Underground. We were standing on the platform, when she suddenly bought up a load of phlegm in her mouth. Instead of trying to find a bin, she just full on spat out the biggest green pile on the floor next to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1657

You deserved it

111

Tweet

Share

By too dumb for sex - 16/3/2019 22:00

Today we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2109

You deserved it

228

Tweet

Share

By bob7654 - 11/11/2016 02:44 - United States - Arlington

Today, my parents asked me if my girlfriend of two years and I wanted to go see a musical with them. I haven't told them that she broke up with me the day after she met them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10126

You deserved it

2071

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/1/2015 01:43 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33573

You deserved it

2764

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/9/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30010

You deserved it

2793

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/3/2011 13:39 - Australia

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18882

You deserved it

10283

Tweet

Share

By wtf bro - 20/3/2020 07:00 - United States - Hesperia

King Dick

Today, after returning from some caveman type "men’s retreat" with his buddies, my husband is now refusing to cook or help out with the house and kids as it’s "women’s work." He also expects to be fetched beer on demand and referred to as "King" from now on. I don’t know rather to laugh or cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2271

You deserved it

247

Tweet

Share

By Maggie - 17/3/2020 17:00

Nice mental image

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1537

You deserved it

291

Tweet

Share

By Ariel - 2/6/2009 12:19 - Israel

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

93152

You deserved it

7731

Tweet

Share

By Cassie - 2/5/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17260

You deserved it

50219

Tweet

Share

By Laila - 20/2/2013 12:01 - United States

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39401

You deserved it

5193

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/7/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25575

You deserved it

47086

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 22/2/2009 06:14 - Australia

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45203

You deserved it

3180

Tweet

Share

By Eimii - 6/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46989

You deserved it

3280

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/8/2015 06:39 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25861

You deserved it

2530

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/6/2019 18:02

Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1479

You deserved it

114

Tweet

Share

By ClairvoyantVamp - 6/7/2016 23:09 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my aunt posted a picture of my butt in a bikini bottom on Facebook. I didn't even know she had taken that picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11691

You deserved it

1002

Tweet

Share

By VacationTSA - 19/2/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50701

You deserved it

4172

Tweet

Share

By Dandy - 23/12/2016 17:25

Today, after having given up video games for two weeks to focus on school, I finished my last exam of the semester and finally became free. I got home to find that Steam is down worldwide. I just received an email saying every game on my wish list is on sale, but I can't log in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7123

You deserved it

776

Tweet

Share

By screwed - 22/5/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks

67523

You deserved it

12580

Tweet

Share

By skyplaysguitar - 30/7/2012 05:56 - United States - Las Cruces

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29906

You deserved it

6391

Tweet

Share

By ledentist - 12/9/2012 02:24 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29345

You deserved it

2277

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/4/2016 21:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23950

You deserved it

1844

Tweet

Share

By ThatsNotRight - 26/1/2009 02:51 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30703

You deserved it

4397

Tweet

Share

By crudofalife - 4/7/2011 09:42 - United States

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37373

You deserved it

3846

Tweet

Share

By -__-" - 29/9/2013 05:45 - United States - Vancouver

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48423

You deserved it

4531

Tweet

Share

By Eleanor - 6/5/2019 08:00 - United States - North Grafton

Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1530

You deserved it

102

Tweet

Share

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/7/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47763

You deserved it

3777

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/7/2016 22:01

Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16831

You deserved it

1105

Tweet

Share

By lolo - 22/2/2013 00:16 - Israel - Ofaqim

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12074

You deserved it

50071

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 04:05 - United States - Springfield

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20956

You deserved it

29186

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/7/2013 14:39 - United States

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20630

You deserved it

64422

Tweet

Share

By 2ndchoice - 12/12/2009 15:47 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40805

You deserved it

2892

Tweet

Share

By Carrie G. - 27/7/2012 00:46 - United States - Holland

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27547

You deserved it

2420

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By real life problems | 26

#7692266 - Wednesday 12 September 2018 21:47

Tell his wife

By i8cake | 12

#7692240 - Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:52

silver lining is that you found out before a year has gone by! on the other hand, can you imagine being his wife of 4yrs and finding this out? he does not deserve either of you! run!

Comments

By i8cake | 12

#7692240 - Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:52

silver lining is that you found out before a year has gone by! on the other hand, can you imagine being his wife of 4yrs and finding this out? he does not deserve either of you! run!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7692263 - Wednesday 12 September 2018 21:37

I feel really sorry for both you and his wife.

By real life problems | 26

#7692266 - Wednesday 12 September 2018 21:47

Tell his wife

By Félix O'Reilly Osborne | 1

#7692329 - Thursday 13 September 2018 1:14

How can you be oblivious to that?

Reply

WHSKitty4ever | 23

#7694788 - Monday 17 September 2018 16:15

Ikr

By blightsight | 10

#7692378 - Thursday 13 September 2018 5:00

You are the home wrecker

Reply

WHSKitty4ever | 23

#7694792 - Monday 17 September 2018 16:21

“There’s two ways that we can do this, I’ll let you decide. We can take it somewhere else or we can take it outside ...”

By WHSKitty4ever | 23

#7694786 - Monday 17 September 2018 16:13

How did you not know this?

By WHSKitty4ever | 23

#7694787 - Monday 17 September 2018 16:14

At least (we would hope) he doesn’t have multiple fiancées.