Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML
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Top comments
leo1106 15
Now you should take something else. Not sure how old she is but if she has a phone, I'd take that. I've never been so upset with either of my parents that I'd be glad if they hurt themselves.
thehaystackerine 20
sounds like she needs a good ol fashion ass beating.
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Comments (56)
Starlight8 14
Now make her do the chores for being mouthy afterward!
WeirdUS 30
Should've unplugged it and put a padlock through the hole in the plug
bartsj8815 1
I hope you promptly spanked her ass.
mixedupminx 8
Next time, just take the power supply. Nothing works without a cord! and goodluck with the foot..
General_Cool 24
Shes not wrong, its what you get for being weak.
trojan72 9
Haha that sucks. Next time find a much 'lighter' punishment for her.
MrSlothieSloth 6
Take her freinds embarass the shitnoit of her she wont do anythjng bad for a while
cats1234 15
Take 2 things for that comment lol
ivanhoe4u 3
Take her door off of the hinges.
leo1106 15
Now you should take something else. Not sure how old she is but if she has a phone, I'd take that. I've never been so upset with either of my parents that I'd be glad if they hurt themselves.