Miscellaneous: Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister... - FML

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 10:01 - United States

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 983

You deserved it 4 652

Triage

You tried

This Charming Man

Duped

By rippedoff - 04/03/2010 14:09 - Australia

Today, I found out that the man who sold me my car 6 months ago lied about it being "recently serviced" and "in excellent condition". It actually hasn't been serviced in years, and fixing all its problems is going to cost me $900 more than what I paid for the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 174

You deserved it 29 813

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:52 - United States

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 438

You deserved it 8 391

By heheheh - 22/08/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 958

You deserved it 57 620

Packed in

By BackHurts - 16/07/2021 00:01 - Canada

Today, I paid $140 extra to get more comfort during a flight. The man behind me was so tall that his legs didn't let me recline the seat, and complained every time I tried to during the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 193

Extreme dating

By umm yeah no! - 20/08/2021 13:59

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my new girlfriend about her terrible hygiene. In the two weeks we’ve been dating, she admitted to only having showered "once or twice." She doesn’t see a problem with this, even though the first (and last) time she came to my place, she smelled like death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 197

By icanunderstand - 10/07/2009 12:50 - Russian Federation

Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 118

You deserved it 3 662

By flatfoot - 09/08/2012 19:33 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 194

You deserved it 3 001

#humblebrag

By Burst a Valve - 26/02/2017 18:00 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 497

You deserved it 2 826

By never again - 30/08/2012 01:03 - Canada - Carstairs

Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 740

You deserved it 2 085

By Anonymous - 23/11/2013 00:16 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 304

You deserved it 6 161

By Iman - 04/05/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 644

You deserved it 293 021

By broke - 02/12/2017 15:00

Today, my work informed me that they didn't process my pay in time, so I won't get paid until the end of next month. I have less than £10 to last me until then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 189

You deserved it 291

By anonymous - 24/06/2009 06:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 716

You deserved it 3 694

People disprove

By matt - 12/03/2021 08:01

Today, I, a forty year-old man, went to the store with my teenage daughter and infant son. I got some very dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 94

By wtfbabe - 22/06/2018 05:00

Today, my husband's dick went in the wrong hole. And by the wrong hole, I mean another man’s anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 607

You deserved it 538

By SoundConfuser - 13/10/2010 11:58 - Australia

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 441

You deserved it 32 120

Bougie

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 08:01

Today, I went to the Louis Vuitton store to repair the broken handle on my handbag. Upon review, they told me that my handbag was not an authentic Louis Vuitton. I essentially paid $1600 for a fake that I can no longer use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 1 356

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Spicy

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 550

You deserved it 5 179

Mesmerized

By Embarrassing - 26/06/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 168

Dementia or hate? You decide

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 11:01

Today, I spent an hour listening to my mother-in-law go over the details of how happy my husband was at his wedding, while she went through the photo album and stared at the pictures. The wedding with his first wife. I spend several days each month with her taking care of her, and she does this kind of thing every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 147

You deserved it 162

By jimmy - 30/11/2015 21:27 - Canada - Orangeville

Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 913

You deserved it 2 455

By dumbteacher - 23/05/2011 14:35

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 453

You deserved it 3 172

By Depressed and clueless - 24/10/2018 15:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, after months of being told I'm just being paranoid, my hallmates admitted and proved that there really is a dorm-wide conspiracy to socially isolate me. I don’t know what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 480

You deserved it 187

By NotHappyJan - 03/12/2018 03:00

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 659

You deserved it 1 934

It's a sign...

By Ohfknhell - 16/05/2018 05:00

Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 566

You deserved it 740

By itendstonight - 09/08/2009 12:42 - Ireland

Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 941

You deserved it 4 364

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 748

You deserved it 11 896

By Anonymous - 19/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 637

You deserved it 5 277

By work hard - 07/11/2016 12:38 - Canada - Petawawa

Today, I went into work, thinking it was my last day before I start my new job, as my 2-week notice said to the managers that I can't work after today. None of them believed that I was actually capable of getting a better job and thought my 2-week notice was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 777

You deserved it 954

By RensM - 20/08/2011 09:54 - New Zealand

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 3 102

By curtain buyer - 09/03/2015 01:05 - United States - Albany

Spicy

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 893

You deserved it 3 662

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 359

By emancipate me - 15/05/2016 19:59 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 140

You deserved it 1 465

By Anonymous - 16/07/2015 14:47 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 525

You deserved it 1 794

By neverbeenkissed - 03/07/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 037

You deserved it 9 035

By Daniel_rules - 17/04/2009 17:02 - United States

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 532

You deserved it 9 971

By Anonymous - 23/05/2017 14:00

Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 069

You deserved it 299

By blueberry_hill - 11/12/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 741

You deserved it 6 112

By sarah - 14/07/2010 04:32 - United States

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 300

You deserved it 10 136

By Vero - 17/05/2012 15:02 - Austria - Timelkam

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 279

You deserved it 3 508

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:23

I can't really blame your sister for not wanting to wax your back hair...

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:28

As it's causing you pain you might want to think about permanent removal. Though it sucks she wasn't willing to do it as a favour, though I suppose it depends how much there was, if it was just a little patch then it shouldn't have bothered her so much. I can understand her being a little more disgusted if there was loads.

Comments

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:20

I bet that felt lovely.

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:24

hah

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Sunday 28 November 2010 20:02

Probably feels better now than it did before.

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Sunday 28 November 2010 20:53

wonder how it felt

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Sunday 28 November 2010 21:00

#44, it felt lovely.

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Sunday 28 November 2010 22:31

lovely... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

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Monday 29 November 2010 7:53

you know in some countries, they actually eat vomit. I've never been there, but read about it. In a book!!

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Monday 29 November 2010 8:19

134- You're more worthless than a shit flavored lollypop!!

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Monday 29 November 2010 16:32

#135 2girls1cup DO NOT LOOK IT UP

rootbeerfanatic 6

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Monday 29 November 2010 23:34

dodgeball!

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:20

GROSS

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Monday 29 November 2010 7:55

only 20 bucks... damn that not a bad dead on your part

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Thursday 14 June 2012 7:15

damn right thats gross!

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:20

LOL

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Sunday 28 November 2010 22:25

I see why it took an hour of begging. I can't understand chewbacca either

bamagrl410 31

Monday 29 November 2010 9:03

73 - You literally made me laugh out loud to the point where everyone around me is wondering what the hell is wrong with me. You definitely win.

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Monday 29 November 2010 10:46

73 epic win!

imoldgregg123 0

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Monday 29 November 2010 11:50

hahaha!! that was amazing!

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:22

Wow I feel bad for your sister

SadinSherman 16

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Monday 29 November 2010 14:39

She should have charged more

L3g4lPl4typus 0

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

lollovelife0304 3

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Tuesday 2 October 2012 2:52

How does OP deserve it? It's not like you can control the hair growth on your back?!

KingDingALing 9

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:23

That's...so...fucking... SEXY!

yourmurderscenex 13

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Sunday 28 November 2010 22:08

i'll have to agree with you

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:23

It's time for laser hair removal op. That is just nasty.

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:23

I can't really blame your sister for not wanting to wax your back hair...

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:24

I hope that never happens to me.

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Tuesday 30 November 2010 8:15

it will. mwahahaha 

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Thursday 29 December 2011 5:38

HA U JINXED IT NOW U WILL HAVE A HAIRY BACK :D

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Sunday 28 November 2010 19:24

Sisters should do that for free. D: That's what you got family for, even though it's gross. :S

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Sunday 28 November 2010 21:36

Good Job. That is one of the reasons this is an FML.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 23

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 146