Miscellaneous: Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

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Miscellaneous

Sorry…

Bro, do you even lift?

Impatience

By juwkgo - United States

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

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33965

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By emm - United States

Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML

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39252

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By Purple - United States - Fremont

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

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41289

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2910

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By ohdeardarling - United Kingdom

Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

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13660

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By strikeout - United States

Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML

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44628

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8173

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By Lincoln - Australia

Today, I had to sit here for 8 hours copying and pasting thousands of product codes on a frigging spreadsheet. My job title is not data entry, I'm a graphic designer. FML

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23229

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By steph - United States

Cropped Out

Today, my cousins cropped me out of a picture of all 6 of us at a wedding, then captioned it, "We have such a good-looking family!" FML

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3795

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253

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By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 02:01

Gonna need more details, please

Today, I learned my husband thinks that our 10 year relationship has been a "step above mediocre" since 8 years ago, when we got married, and his family melted down that our wedding didn't happen their way, and thus began their undermining of our relationship. He believes it's "no ones fault." Uh huh. FML

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642

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

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28974

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3921

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By oopsie - Canada

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

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16036

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By swarm20 - United States - Mankato

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

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10471

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By Raven - Canada - Brantford

Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2143

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129

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By Anonymous

Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML

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3390

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368

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By Tajjali Fatima - 13/9/2020 22:58

The X Factor

Today, I was singing in a terrible voice on purpose during a Zoom call from school, thinking I was on mute. I carried on, until a message saying, "The host has muted you" appeared on my screen. FML

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493

You deserved it

1522

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By struckbystarzz - United States - Taunton

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29402

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4062

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By Noname - United States

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

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85877

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

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25532

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3534

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By heartbroken - United States

Today, I managed to convince the girl of my dreams to stop being so shy, and put herself out there to get her crush to make a move. It worked. And yet as it turns out, I'm not her crush after all. FML

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36444

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13753

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By AllergyRidden - United States

Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML

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29569

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By samboob - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

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9089

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By saywhatnow - United States

Today, a man stopped me to tell me I was the most beautiful woman he'd seen all day. He promptly followed that up with: "Then again, you are the only woman I've seen today, so, it can only go up from here." FML

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34383

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3161

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By pootie - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

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46494

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7532

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By Jeff - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

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67322

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By 530gangsta

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

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3261

You deserved it

394

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

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26274

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14799

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By limping - Canada

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

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46580

You deserved it

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By scared - United States

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

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30307

You deserved it

3411

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By Anonymous

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

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42280

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13727

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By owl + bungee cord - United States - Herndon

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

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54259

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By elevenharries - United Kingdom

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

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21958

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42046

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By abbielane - United States - Rochester

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

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30925

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By thrifty gone wrong - United States - El Cajon

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

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29941

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4319

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By hell no!

Today, my fiancé's ex-wife thought it was perfectly acceptable to give herself a part in our upcoming wedding. She wants to "give" him away to me, the same way a father does to a bride. Apparently, I'm being unreasonable and selfish for denying her request. My fiancé told me to at least think about it. FML

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2052

You deserved it

159

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By Peppermint - New Zealand

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

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23294

You deserved it

5337

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By Anonymous - 25/9/2020 16:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Prison Break

Today, I went to my daughter's best friends birthday party, only to find my ex there, who is now sleeping with the mother, who has a fiancé in prison, who isn't going to be happy when he gets out. Most awkward kids birthday party ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1020

You deserved it

163

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost 6 years has put me in debt over $33,000. FML

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44224

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17172

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27562

You deserved it

3076

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By Rmglrsm

Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12875

You deserved it

1749

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By athletiks - United States - Pullman

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23961

You deserved it

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By Spudzy - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

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9403

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Top comments

By funhun123 | 0

#1764708 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:23

I can't really blame your sister for not wanting to wax your back hair...

By Cinn_fml | 22

#1764723 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:28

As it's causing you pain you might want to think about permanent removal.
Though it sucks she wasn't willing to do it as a favour, though I suppose it depends how much there was, if it was just a little patch then it shouldn't have bothered her so much. I can understand her being a little more disgusted if there was loads.

COMMENTS

By AmazonGurrl | 0

#1764688 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:20

I bet that felt lovely.

haitilover | 0

#1764715 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:24

hah

Kua_Mei | 0

#1764833 - Sunday 28 November 2010 20:02

Probably feels better now than it did before.

buzz18 | 7

#1765513 - Sunday 28 November 2010 20:53

wonder how it felt

jakeisawake | 3

#1765531 - Sunday 28 November 2010 21:00

#44, it felt lovely.

EffinAhole | 0

#1765694 - Sunday 28 November 2010 22:31

lovely... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

alex1432 | 9

#1766849 - Monday 29 November 2010 7:53

you know in some countries, they actually eat vomit. I've never been there, but read about it. In a book!!

sexybacon | 0

#1766871 - Monday 29 November 2010 8:19

134- You're more worthless than a shit flavored lollypop!!

FAILml | 7

#1768605 - Monday 29 November 2010 16:32

#135 2girls1cup DO NOT LOOK IT UP

rootbeerfanatic | 6

#1770149 - Monday 29 November 2010 23:34

dodgeball!

By haitilover | 0

#1764690 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:20

GROSS

alex1432 | 9

#1766852 - Monday 29 November 2010 7:55

only 20 bucks... damn that not a bad dead on your part

hahasooo | 2

#4565279 - Thursday 14 June 2012 7:15

damn right thats gross!

By HSOMGF | 5

#1764692 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:20

LOL

H3ALTHFR3AK | 0

#1765687 - Sunday 28 November 2010 22:25

I see why it took an hour of begging. I can't understand chewbacca either

bamagrl410 | 31

#1766917 - Monday 29 November 2010 9:03

73 - You literally made me laugh out loud to the point where everyone around me is wondering what the hell is wrong with me. You definitely win.

EffinAhole | 0

#1767404 - Monday 29 November 2010 10:46

73 epic win!

imoldgregg123 | 0

#1767528 - Monday 29 November 2010 11:50

hahaha!! that was amazing!

By fakeaccountX | 6

#1764700 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:22

Wow I feel bad for your sister

SadinSherman | 16

#1768128 - Monday 29 November 2010 14:39

She should have charged more

By L3g4lPl4typus | 0

#1764703 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:22

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

lollovelife0304 | 3

#4994089 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 2:52

How does OP deserve it?
It's not like you can control the hair growth on your back?!

By KingDingALing | 9

#1764705 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:23

That's...so...fucking...
SEXY!

yourmurderscenex | 13

#1765659 - Sunday 28 November 2010 22:08

i'll have to agree with you

By TheDrifter | 23

#1764707 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:23

It's time for laser hair removal op. That is just nasty.

By funhun123 | 0

#1764708 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:23

I can't really blame your sister for not wanting to wax your back hair...

By skyttlz | 32

#1764710 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:24

I hope that never happens to me.

persianjr1 | 7

#1772452 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 8:15

it will. mwahahaha


kajolphagura | 6

#3801450 - Thursday 29 December 2011 5:38

HA U JINXED IT NOW U WILL HAVE A HAIRY BACK :D

By Mielad | 0

#1764712 - Sunday 28 November 2010 19:24

Sisters should do that for free. D:
That's what you got family for, even though it's gross. :S

Lucidium | 0

#1765603 - Sunday 28 November 2010 21:36

Good Job. That is one of the reasons this is an FML.