Today, after 11 years together, including 8 years of engagement...

By Anonymous

Today, after 11 years together, including 8 years of engagement and 3.5 months of marriage, I found out he had sex with his ex-girlfriend on my birthday. He's now leaving me and our kids to be with her because she's his "soul mate". FML

I agree, your life sucks

5352

You deserved it

382

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Love

Kids

Buzzing the tower

Bustin' my ass

Runner up

By sadface - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31385

You deserved it

7391

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By "Marlon4136"

Today, as an usher at a beauty pageant, I was helping other patrons when a group walked past me and sat. I politely asked to see their tickets, but one of the women got angry and ripped hers up to throw the pieces in my face. Without a ticket, I had to kick her out. The police were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3772

You deserved it

265

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By - United States - Spokane

Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2689

You deserved it

174

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By no good deed... etc

Well Well Well

Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2850

You deserved it

372

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By hopelesscollegestudent - Canada

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23926

You deserved it

1999

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By idiotson - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

I agree, your life sucks

55144

You deserved it

8928

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By drummerboy - United States

Today, I practiced my drum playing in the garage instead of my room out of consideration for my neighbors. Guess the consideration wasn't mutual, because one of my neighbors just shot a hole in one of my drums with an air gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13097

You deserved it

2004

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By apparentlyugly - United States

Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31397

You deserved it

4604

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By Miriam

Today, I attended a white elephant party at work and the box I picked had whisky and beer. Since I am a Muslim, I took it to my Christian friend's house and gave it to him. As I was walking there, I passed my imam on the street. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9659

You deserved it

1241

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By fugly - United States - Landenberg

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27898

You deserved it

2353

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By [email protected] - Canada

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45089

You deserved it

4337

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By Anonymous - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40735

You deserved it

4045

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By ouch - United States

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31532

You deserved it

2963

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By DeeDee - Austria - Vienna

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54618

You deserved it

5418

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By mel - United States

Today, I had to blow my nose. Trying to be a considerate roommate, I tiptoed over to the bathroom in the dark, which would have been fine, if I hadn't tripped over a chair and crushed the art project that she's been working on for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30869

You deserved it

8263

Favorite

By NotSoAnon - United States

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35261

You deserved it

5033

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By Grindyloo

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42261

You deserved it

2779

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By Kira - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24847

You deserved it

13488

Favorite

By Veryfunny - Australia

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26280

You deserved it

4559

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

I agree, your life sucks

49100

You deserved it

17628

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, after taking my clothes out of the washer, I noticed at the very bottom of the washer my boyfriend's USB stick I found a couple of days ago. The USB stick contains his English essay, and his novel he has been working on for almost six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14196

You deserved it

32234

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By moonlight77

Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1165

You deserved it

2107

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By _sourdiesel7 - United States - Vienna

Today, I was at work training for a new position. The girl who's been training me since I started decided to share about one of her tribe's proud, sacred traditions of eating raw, human flesh. I have another month shadowing her before I can work independently. I'm beyond disturbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9339

You deserved it

813

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By Anonymous - United States - Mantua

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24845

You deserved it

13220

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By Sam

Party for One!

Today, at the supermarket, I bought a cake and had my friend's name put on it. It wasn't anyone's birthday, I just wanted to feel less ashamed about buying a whole cake for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2928

You deserved it

2086

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By BaMiTsAnYa - United States - Orlando

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45052

You deserved it

12809

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By Lonely, I am so lonely - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, a friend posted a photo on Facebook of a meal with all of our other friends. The same meal they'd told me just yesterday had been cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13957

You deserved it

876

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By Username - United States

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17029

You deserved it

45317

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By unhappyelf - United States

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24822

You deserved it

2713

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By - 20/2/2020 18:00

So shite

Today, my date left the restaurant because I didn’t agree with his opinions about the mentally disabled or mixed race couples, etc. Basically, a real scumbag. He also left me the bill, and it turned out he had all the most expensive menu items, including a £120 bottle of wine. It cost over £300 total. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2190

You deserved it

316

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By patriarchal apparently - Saint Lucia

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62881

You deserved it

9892

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By MouseLover.. - United States

Today, I placed sticky mouse traps in my bedroom. it's now 12:05 a.m. and I've successfully caught a mouse. Too bad I'm scared of them and my husband is passed out asleep. I now get to listen to a mouse squeak all night and have to be up in 4 hours. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

10717

You deserved it

6202

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38293

You deserved it

2963

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 17:00

Fish and chips is life

Today, my husband had his hands full with the shopping, so I was carrying the baby and the bag with our takeaway in it. I tripped down the steps and fell over. Did my husband ask if I or the baby were OK? Nope. But he did ask if I’d squashed his fish and chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1509

You deserved it

182

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By Tall Oaf

Today, my ex of 2 months, who I'm on good terms with, posted an Instagram photo with her new boyfriend, captioned "Love you babe, 4 months have never been sweeter." I've never been good at math, but 4 seems bigger than 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4139

You deserved it

275

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By Anonymous - Norway - Oslo

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63254

You deserved it

4995

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By MynameisntToby - United States

Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lend her my umbrella and help her across. When we get to the other side, she says "Thank you Toby," and then refuses to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31897

You deserved it

2782

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By Great. - Brazil - Belo Horizonte

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33610

You deserved it

11769

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By anon

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31907

You deserved it

3007

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By Anonymous - Belgium - Ieper

No kinkshaming on FML

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

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59526

You deserved it

9293

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Top comments

By JasonThorn | 18

#7607479 - Monday 5 March 2018 18:35

He's leaving you and the kids? Tell him he has to have a SOUL before he can have a SOULMATE.

By Akitakat | 31

#7606671 - Saturday 3 March 2018 13:22

He couldn’t say anything during the 8 years about not being happy? What a twat!

COMMENTS

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7606252 - Friday 2 March 2018 12:25

Um, why did you put up w/ being engaged for 8 yrs? J/c....

jbuckets_404 | 38

#7606254 - Friday 2 March 2018 12:27

And yes, I voted in her favor. Just looking for clues/ foreboding hints to his despicable behavior is all.

aruden | 25

#7622166 - Thursday 12 April 2018 19:37

Probably in an attempt to show it was supposed to be a higher level of commitment between them.

indienerdgirl | 27

#7622832 - Saturday 14 April 2018 16:23

Maybe they at the time wanted to save up the money for a nice wedding as weddings are expensive. But if he kept pushing it off then I would've been suspicious as to why he kept pushing it off.

By DanielleinDC | 32

#7606329 - Friday 2 March 2018 15:23

I do wonder why you were engaged so long; it should have been a sign that he wasn't really into the relationship. I'm also sorry you didn't find out what a cad he is before you got married.

aruden | 25

#7622170 - Thursday 12 April 2018 19:42

It seems to be more common when couples live together and have multiple kids together they put off the formality of actually getting married. They already live the life of a married couple so it becomes less important.

By DanielleinDC | 32

#7606330 - Friday 2 March 2018 15:23

I do wonder why you were engaged so long; it should have been a sign that he wasn't really into the relationship. I'm also sorry you didn't find out what a cad he is before you got married.

By Akitakat | 31

#7606671 - Saturday 3 March 2018 13:22

He couldn’t say anything during the 8 years about not being happy? What a twat!

By JasonThorn | 18

#7607479 - Monday 5 March 2018 18:35

He's leaving you and the kids? Tell him he has to have a SOUL before he can have a SOULMATE.

By OnReceivingEnd | 14

#7608568 - Wednesday 7 March 2018 21:40

"...and that's when I shot him five times...then reloaded...and shot him five times again."

Judge: *bangs gavel* "CASE DISMISSED!"

By Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 | 20

#7622060 - Thursday 12 April 2018 16:39

Sue his ass for childsupport

By LHBAIHJ1314 | 6

#7622062 - Thursday 12 April 2018 16:48

oh..

By jsalamo | 22

#7622101 - Thursday 12 April 2018 18:03

This breaks my heart. So sorry about this, OP.

By TheMean1 | 6

#7622147 - Thursday 12 April 2018 19:10

This is devastating, wtf is wrong with people ? So sad.