Freaky

By Anonymous - 12/04/2018 05:00

Today, according to my mother, who is only 19 years older than me and raised me by herself, I was conceived in a satanic ritual to honour the Horned God and have at least 4 potential fathers. She was too stoned to remember the actual number or their names. FML
I agree, your life sucks 6 074
You deserved it 371

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Top comments

PenguinPal3017 19

Have you touched a crucifix to see if it burns you?

ThatGuy9679 13

Makes me miss the good old days when babies were delivered on the front porch by Storks

Comments

breyes016 11

all i can say is..wow

LittleRed79 39

At least you’re not one of those boring “anniversary sex” or “trying to save our marriage” babies

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

or the bday-presents...

I'm a "birthday present" baby myself, and I don't think it went so well for my parents!

ThatGuy9679 13

Makes me miss the good old days when babies were delivered on the front porch by Storks

Other people have to live with boring origin stories like 'my parents were celebrating some event'. You get to be forever known as The Satanic Gangbang Baby. Be proud.

That'd be the fall of the Berlin Wall for me

PenguinPal3017 19

Have you touched a crucifix to see if it burns you?

You can serve as a living warning to others. Even the favour of Our Dark Lord and Saviour Lucifer the Fallen isn't a substitute for condoms. Remember kids, always use protection when honouring our Great and Terrible Master of Darkness.

thatslifeiguess7 16

I know who my kid was conceived by in the back of my friends hearse. maybe you can get together and share crazy mom stories

By any chance, is her name "Rosemary"?

mccuish 25

They must’ve been watching Rosemary’s Baby.

Well, since you know you'll be going to Hell, you can literally so anything you want!