Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
trulypar 34
I guess since he couldn't have your hand, he decided to take your handbag.
swanheart 35
God - what would he have done if you'd said yes?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (41)
magaoitin 4
Just like a real marriage; no sex and you lose all of your money in the divorce. You just cut out all the boring bits of making small talk and asking how your day was.
snarkytruth 37
He showed his true colors right away. Saved you the cost of a wedding, divorce, moving in together, name change paper work, lost years together, only to find out he is cheating on you by proposing and mugging other women.....might not be a story book ending but it sure was a whirlwind romance.
berkeleyjake 13
impulsive, self employed, creative... sounds like a keeper
Blake77_fml 19
I know im late but....."Chill bro, its just a prank!"
prillepared 7
He couldn't steal your heart, so instead he stole your purse.
ambeerr 14
And we hear people saying 'stop playing hard to get! If you don't want to date us just say no!' And as it happens, when we do say no, if we're unlucky, the cocksucker will either kill us, rob us or injure us then blame us for turning them down.