Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML
Today, while I was waiting for my train, a drugged out dude found it apropos to tell me women should be eaten like livestock, because they would, "probably be delicious." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
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Top comments
Jiinxx 8
Honesty must be a big thing in Russia..
bballsoccerrocks 7
Saving money on winter coats!
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Comments (111)
vicky_reoow 1
you should go on to explain how he's got enough asshole in his personality to win him a pounding. :)
est000dog 11
i have heard that all russian girls are hot :)
courtneyann211 10
That would be like saying all Germans have blonde hair and blue eyes.
Tswift0806 3
They were just trying to be nice 68, no need to get angry.
courtneyann211 10
That's just like saying all Germans have blonde hair and blue eyes.
courtneyann211 10
Urgh don't know why it was posted again, but I wasn't getting angry. I was just stating that his comment was the same as saying all Germans are blonde.
HendricksProdigy 0
He was hitting on h
vintagemeow 6
Must have been a 'crushian' blow to your self-esteem..
Whitesound 3
NOW it makes sense!
muffinXmonster 12
In Soviet Russia insult is compliment.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I can tell you that aside from lazy drunks, the majority of fat people in former Soviet countries are farmers and labor workers of all sorts. Heavy muscle and fat, especially the women. Honestly, from that perspective, it's a compliment. But not from an American one, I suppose, no...
Awsumuzzie 12
Haha! Same in Arab countries! The perfect woman is a little chubby, and (obviously) can cook and clean. I think her weight means that she's a good cook and strong built to handle any labor.
GothicAngel17 24
*Australian. The fml was posted from NSW, Australia.
jellitonoctopus 19
61- really?
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I realize that now, but my point still stands.
Awsumuzzie 12
I don't see the problem! Russian woman are so beautiful! That's his way of complimenting, obviously.
GotBrains 0
This is twice as fun when assuming that OP is a male.
RedPillSucks 33
This has been your PSA - perestroika service announcement.