Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML
Today, while I was waiting for my train, a drugged out dude found it apropos to tell me women should be eaten like livestock, because they would, "probably be delicious." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
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Top comments
Jiinxx 8
Honesty must be a big thing in Russia..
bballsoccerrocks 7
Saving money on winter coats!
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Comments (111)
Swiftly 0
Hey no one said being fat is a bad thing! More cushion for the pushin, ami rite?
Snafuusmc 12
That's actually a complement! It's the motherland!
Sparks808 10
She's been a Russian many times, but now she's not??
HerpaderpMeg 12
He's DTF.
xcllla_ 27
I'm sorry, but he was making fun of you.
gntfmlingnow 12
They're obviously expressing the free speech that they never were allowed in soviet Russia.
Bad1z 13
op is in Australia
Killafornia 1
That's the Russian way to say more cushion for the pushing, so take it as a compliment :P
lolatyofail 0
"WOW that's a big plane","ITS RUSSIAN" -2012 (the movie)
ImTheAlpha 30
I remember that. My friends always just say "She's Russian" when people ask why I'm so tall compared to them, and why I talk different.
br0ccoli 15
What a great pickup line. "you look Russian. You have enough fat to have child in winter. Come, I feed you"