Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML
Today, while I was waiting for my train, a drugged out dude found it apropos to tell me women should be eaten like livestock, because they would, "probably be delicious." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
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Top comments
Jiinxx 8
Honesty must be a big thing in Russia..
bballsoccerrocks 7
Saving money on winter coats!
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Comments (111)
vi3tno_romeo 5
Weird Russian dude.
Kayokku 1
Did he also say that you have the strong, plain features of a turnip?
Sumo69 9
From Russia with love 007
anencephalic 14
That's a typical Russian pick-up line.
micahsmommy 13
Aww someone has a crush on you.
Dexxter_fml 4
I got pulled out of a line by an old woman yelling at me in Russian. Apparently, I look exactly like her now estranged cousin from the days of Communist Russia. It has happened to me twice.
JessiSlaughter 3
Too much swag hahaha
MEM0817 18
That's a compliment where he's coming from. I had a black dude tell me "guuurrlll, you thick" and apparently that's a compliment... So I feel your pain.
vi3tno_romeo 5
Looooool...I can picture a friend mine (who is also black) saying that to a fine looking girl.
cajekraze 7
Why does racial identification matter. You could have said Hood, street, thug, gangsta, etc to avoid seeming racist. I know people of all ethnic backgrounds who speak using the specific sub-dialect to which you are referring
sourspraykay 8
So go to Russia!
Sylvasa 15
I've been told I look Russian before... never knew if I should take it as a compliment or not. Now I know for sure it's not.
Yulia_fml 0
Um have you seen maria sharapova? Russian girls are known for being gorgeous too. It could go either way.
KiddNYC1O 22
I've seen Maria Sharapova in person about 3 feet from me. She is not gorgeous as you insinuate.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Photoshop does wonders.
KiddNYC1O 22
It sure does.
Yulia_fml 0
Lol ok, then just google image search "Russian girls." That might prove my point better than maria sharapova.