Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML
Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Well let's just hope he doesn't forget to floss after
stephissilly 18
get a giant rubber and start erasing him.
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Comments (141)
sneakypeekaboo 8
Da ****?!
KriiFahMoro 9
Ha! What an idiot. Everybody knows that crest white strips would work MUCH better in a situation like this!
megsnorfus 3
He was obviously on some kind of drug induced trip :) Sounds like a fun guy!
ISMUGGLEMIDGETZ 3
What a genuine way to clear the crime xD
CimmyJo 11
Now your car will be minty fresh! ;)
Akharr01 5
Minty fresh :)
2tone2bone 3
Your car may have had an object endangering your driving. He was just being nice by acting as dental floss and removing said object. He should have thrown an apple at it. Like they say " an apple a day keeps the psycho toothfairy away"
Jasonf6 0
Sounds like he was prepared and/or experienced in this.
TPSerigne 9
It does help prevent tooth decay, I understand the confusion.
whatcase 16
Made me lol hard!