Transportation: Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car,... - FML

By toothpaste - 19/01/2012 12:17 - Australia

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 404

You deserved it 2 314

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Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 543

By shubididubbitty - 20/02/2016 18:06 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 319

You deserved it 1 378

By clop clop clopping all the way - 20/06/2013 21:13 - United States

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 455

You deserved it 3 973

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 13 849

By immunizations - 11/12/2010 07:40 - Canada

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 700

You deserved it 10 646

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 980

You deserved it 50 037

By wtfman101 - 28/08/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 022

You deserved it 2 718

By ToddlersWife - 15/06/2014 11:10 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 283

You deserved it 6 098

By WellGroomed - 26/11/2015 15:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 654

You deserved it 1 584

Easy mistake

By NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 246

You deserved it 7 134

Next

Top comments

mpsteve137 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:56

Well let's just hope he doesn't forget to floss after

stephissilly 18

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:56

get a giant rubber and start erasing him.

Comments

iammenotyoi 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 23:43

Dentists. They're everywhere.

lalalaski 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 23:53

"It's a satchel!"

SMHreally 0

Friday 20 January 2012 0:04

They say Colgate is extra strong so... *shrugs*

tragicnightmare 15

Friday 20 January 2012 0:13

I'm guessing this has happened to him before, since we was prepared for it.

DEMONinPINK 3

Friday 20 January 2012 0:23

When i first read this, i imagined the driver getting out & brushing his teeth with his eyes closed tight, hoping everything will go away... don't know why...

DEMACIA_fml 6

Friday 20 January 2012 1:12

I hope he scrubbed the molars too...

uncleturtle 0

Friday 20 January 2012 1:36

It was just a brush after all.

epic13 12

Friday 20 January 2012 2:04

I see what he did there...

Grandma_hipster 1

Friday 20 January 2012 5:07

Wait! Did he pay you, In trident layers that is!

hellodeandra 8

Friday 20 January 2012 5:32

Poor guy. Sounds like he ain't all there. :(

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The Top

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 105

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 019

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 357

You deserved it 9 290

Today, I was practicing the piano. My brother told me that if I loved him, I would stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 158

You deserved it 1 603

Today, I walked at my graduation ceremony, proudly wearing my valedictorian cords. It turns out that, after some confusion on behalf of the student services office, I was neither valedictorian nor salutatorian (by 0.2 points). I'm dating the actual valedictorian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 368

You deserved it 477

Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 26 770

Today, I decided to face my fears and go on my first upside-down ride. Unfortunately for me, the two men in front of me had chosen to eat before the ride and I walked off with bits of strawberry and bacon in my hair, my clothes drenched in whitish fluid, not to mention the stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 117

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 5 193