Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say, "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
Today, my friend was telling me about her issues with her boyfriend, and I said, "Damn, that sounds just like a couple I know!" She asked me who, which is when I realised I was actually thinking about Davide and Ekin-Su on Love Island. FML
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML
Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML
Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML
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Top comments
Blueglasscup 18
OP, this is an intervention.
anelelabel 6
Too much tv.
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Comments (75)
WaSiSimiLang 8
The moment that you know you need to get out more is when...
WaSiSimiLang 8
Oh shit didn't see the comments before writing my own... -.-
twood03 2
Dumb bitch
randomkayx3 11
It's alright. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?
berichsoon 11
Totally get what you saying, I once witnessed an accident and didn't think it was real from watching a lot of movies
Angelrose2004 17
At least watching tv hasn't caused you to develop a limp in your right leg.
brendazelada 10
One true fan!!
br0ccoli 15
These reality tv shows seem so real, they're "inception-ing" people. Soon, our memories will only be as good as the friendships people have with their 2000 Facebook friends.
CALLAHAN4 0
dumb.
MariJ82 14
So you know a reality show persona who's had it done...same diff...except not only did they probably not pay for the procedure, but they got paid for having the thing taped.
ap7diamonds 1
you must have a crazy social life.