Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say, "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
Today, my friend was telling me about her issues with her boyfriend, and I said, "Damn, that sounds just like a couple I know!" She asked me who, which is when I realised I was actually thinking about Davide and Ekin-Su on Love Island. FML
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML
Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML
Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Blueglasscup 18
OP, this is an intervention.
anelelabel 6
Too much tv.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
BobbieH 19
YDI just for watching that show!
andrew87804 4
Lol my mom loves that show
BunBunBabe 8
Just because it is a "reality" show does not mean they are your friends is reality haha even if you know a lot about the people on the show from watching it.
diegoer 10
That's depressing!! (:
GUNN1313 3
Life you need one
laurenmacias 0
It is reality tv
hateevryone 15
well it is reality tv.....
BrittRoxx101 7
Omg i just thought me too and then i realized its just a tv show teehee way to much television!:P
thebitchritenow 0
Welcome to the real world
mlexi21 5
My names Alexis. :)