Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML
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Top comments
zebra_pillow 0
why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape
its_milly_silly 0
YDI for trying to get it from a drunk chick... so... wrong!
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Comments (169)
anhill88 0
CREEPER. one day some one is gonna **** u in the ass while ur drunk. lol
heavyset 0
ouch
Raywynnn 0
dude, I'd be contented having my crush just pass out on me like that.
Heavyrocklegend 3
UDI for trying to take advantage u prick
miek 0
haha wow some people have no game
iknowthatguy 0
It will work out, she will think you're a nice guy for not taking advantage of her.
punisher113 0
and then...
Oreogasm 5
use roofies next time
samuelmartin 0
haha nice bame
jennadol95 0
You watched her? Dude, you are freakin wierd. 1-800-DESPERATE is waiting for you bud.
Erindub 0
You were really going to **** this poor girl in her drunkin moment?!? Jesus, no wonder you can't get a girl...you're a complete jackass!
razz122 5
Atleast she didn't vomit all over your car.