Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML
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Top comments
zebra_pillow 0
why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape
its_milly_silly 0
YDI for trying to get it from a drunk chick... so... wrong!
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Comments (169)
pickles2b2 4
So you were going to take advantage of a drunk girl?
rroughknight1 0
and you would take advantage like that because?......if she was that special to you im pretty sure you wouldnt want to remember being with her because shes drunk....
qpsarah 10
At least you didnt take advantage of her
Tubes420 2
having sex with someone who ia drunk SIR i think its called rape, wait no it is hahaha
RAGER11 0
Poor Bastard
colemarie10 8
Today, I took a drunk girl home and wasn't able to rape her. FML
zykrithium 22
HA so you wanted to bang a drunk girl? Smooth move exlax.
Nat52482 25
At least he DIDNT do anything after she passed out...
ZeeroKamarrii 18
Congratu-*******-lations on thinking your life sucks because you couldn't get any off a drunk girl. Even if she consented its still statutory rape because she's not able to make conscious decisions. ******* asshole.
kidreich 7
You ******* rapist