Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML
Today, I was at the dentist's. During my check-up, he recommended a dermatologist. FML
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
Today, I have an orthodontist's appointment, and I told my best friend that I was going to get my teeth fixed. She replied, "Wow, thanks. Your smile's really awful to have to look at." FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML
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Top comments
MELKOZAR 27
Sheesh! Don't complain!
19990231 29
Maybe she just wanted you to look at her breast.
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Comments (94)
ballbags 14
Really this is what you have to complain about. Grab a tit see if there's a lump and go on with your day.
8Dirty1 24
lucky you:)
doctorhook86 25
#4: Also OP's sexual preference, since we aren't making assumptions.
Araj_Hs 19
Naughty America?
Ilikepie82479 20
I don't see how this is an FML
NOTaDISTRACTION 17
Wow double standard much, if it was a guy telling an orthodontist to check out his muscles he would probably be arrested for sexual Harrassment
NormaBates 10
You should have checked it out with your teeth ;).
fiveforfighting 26
How is this in any way an FML?
teentee401 37
To everyone commenting "why are you complaining?": 1. OP may be a straight female 2. OP may be a gay male 3. OP may be a straight male who doesn't want to look at random girls boobs. 4. OP may be a gay female who doesn't want to look at a random girls boobs. 5. OP doesn't want to be responsible for examining breast lumps. You guys and your assumptions...
Metthew 15
I was also thinking.. regardless of OP being interested in boobs or not, it does not mean that it's nice to have a strangers boob 'offered' to you. Honestly it's just weird, and in a sense uncomfortable. OP might even be in a relationship and therefore definitely not want to touch other women.
teentee401 37
^^^Another good point
Queen_of_Night 20
Thank you 55. However, even if she was "offering" it might have been so she could have sued his practice for being molested. Without witnesses, its her word against his. She could be a nymphomaniac (and not the kind some men dream about) but absolutely not in control of her libido. There are a couple of other reasons why, even offered, this was not a good idea and I am assuming (and hoping) OP took the professional route. After, all what kind of an idiot would ask a dentist about boob lumps? It's a perfect defense.
hudfoote 8
Sounds like the beginning to a porno.