Work and Kids: Today, a 5th grader tapped me on the shoulder and whispered,...

By TeachAllTheMath - 10/11/2017 22:08

Today, a 5th grader tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, “Don’t ever watch Two Girls, One Cup. Trust me.” While I appreciate the advice, I am dreading the phone call home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 838

You deserved it 296

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 744

You deserved it 4 195

Lock him up!

By ffs - 15/10/2022 00:00

Today, my five-year-old son threatened to kill another kid at school. I told the teacher I would have a talk with my son about how that’s not okay. The teacher replied that I’d better call the cops in case he “follows through.” Did I mention the kid is five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 224

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 907

You deserved it 5 032

By Bonngoo - 17/11/2016 18:17 - United States

Today, at school, we were supposed to say something that we are thankful for. When I was about to speak, one of the girls at my table said, "It's okay, you can say PornHub." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 297

You deserved it 1 223

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 205

You deserved it 791

By Anonymous - 27/07/2013 17:51 - Finland

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 069

You deserved it 8 773

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 875

You deserved it 30 894

By badteacher - 24/10/2010 05:26 - United States

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 851

You deserved it 52 653

By Anonymous - 06/11/2015 21:23 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 724

You deserved it 1 654

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 16:36 - United States - El Cajon

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 756

You deserved it 3 632

Glowworm56 26

Friday 10 November 2017 22:43

To this very day, I have never seen that video--and I never will. I'd rather watch a cat video. Cat videos are adorable.

DragonMaiden7 15

Friday 10 November 2017 22:45

Well, at least the poor kid didn’t watch One Man, One Jar...

Comments

Glowworm56 26

Friday 10 November 2017 22:43

To this very day, I have never seen that video--and I never will. I'd rather watch a cat video. Cat videos are adorable.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Saturday 11 November 2017 1:50

Consider yourself lucky.

Glowworm56 26

Saturday 11 November 2017 3:17

More like smart if you ask me. I know vaguely what it's about--in the fact that it's disgusting and disturbing. That's all I need to know.

DragonMaiden7 15

Friday 10 November 2017 22:45

Well, at least the poor kid didn’t watch One Man, One Jar...

Lobby_Bee 17

Saturday 11 November 2017 0:23

Sounds like some sound advice, I would inform their parents though. That shit is inappropriate for people at ANY age.

mike3775 35

Saturday 11 November 2017 3:54

Wonder if the kid been to lemon party yet

cornelius74d 13

Saturday 11 November 2017 16:54

Why do I continue to google things I read here...

BrotherPhil 35

Sunday 12 November 2017 9:28

Rule 35: Never Google things you see on FML.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 November 2017 4:35

The phone call you make to the home will be child’s play compared to the one you’re going to get after the parents stupidly ignore their kid’s sage advice!