Work and Kids: Today, a 5th grader tapped me on the shoulder and whispered,...

By TeachAllTheMath - 10/11/2017 22:08

Today, a 5th grader tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, “Don’t ever watch Two Girls, One Cup. Trust me.” While I appreciate the advice, I am dreading the phone call home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 819

You deserved it 289

Work Kids

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Same thing different taste

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 190

You deserved it 785

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 366

You deserved it 71 812

By Lolaa123 - 25/09/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 3 855

By MGZ - 19/10/2009 02:33 - United States

Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 366

You deserved it 8 565

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 538

You deserved it 4 685

By shameonme - 01/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Nampa

Today, I found out one of my friends had never seen the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, so I loaded it up and told him to watch it. I knew he was squeamish, but I didn't expect him to actually pass out. He cracked his head on the side of my desk and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 814

You deserved it 17 331

By HouseWife - 21/05/2014 02:24 - United States - Valley Park

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 343

You deserved it 6 933

Badmouth Strikes Again

By Melissa - 08/03/2020 14:00

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 150

By Noname - 14/03/2009 01:06 - United States

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 186

You deserved it 138 399

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 508

You deserved it 688 467

Glowworm56 26

Friday 10 November 2017 22:43

To this very day, I have never seen that video--and I never will. I'd rather watch a cat video. Cat videos are adorable.

DragonMaiden7 15

Friday 10 November 2017 22:45

Well, at least the poor kid didn’t watch One Man, One Jar...

Comments

Glowworm56 26

Friday 10 November 2017 22:43

To this very day, I have never seen that video--and I never will. I'd rather watch a cat video. Cat videos are adorable.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Saturday 11 November 2017 1:50

Consider yourself lucky.

Glowworm56 26

Saturday 11 November 2017 3:17

More like smart if you ask me. I know vaguely what it's about--in the fact that it's disgusting and disturbing. That's all I need to know.

DragonMaiden7 15

Friday 10 November 2017 22:45

Well, at least the poor kid didn’t watch One Man, One Jar...

Lobby_Bee 17

Saturday 11 November 2017 0:23

Sounds like some sound advice, I would inform their parents though. That shit is inappropriate for people at ANY age.

mike3775 35

Saturday 11 November 2017 3:54

Wonder if the kid been to lemon party yet

cornelius74d 13

Saturday 11 November 2017 16:54

Why do I continue to google things I read here...

BrotherPhil 35

Sunday 12 November 2017 9:28

Rule 35: Never Google things you see on FML.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 November 2017 4:35

The phone call you make to the home will be child’s play compared to the one you’re going to get after the parents stupidly ignore their kid’s sage advice!