Intimacy: TMI - FML

TMI

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 23:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 874

You deserved it 3 026

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 181

You deserved it 7 440

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 23:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 631

You deserved it 3 958

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 05:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 820

You deserved it 67 070

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 4 790

Inappropriate

By aninnocentonlooker - 04/12/2011 05:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 493

You deserved it 3 903

By vadoodoo22 - 15/01/2010 05:02 - France

Spicy

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 992

You deserved it 3 248

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 19:02 - Mexico - Mexico

Spicy

Today, I learned that my mother-in-law gives better head than my wife. How? It wasn't from my experience, but thanks to a casual conversation with my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 161

By Ah hell - 31/01/2009 14:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 52 641

By finallyready - 08/01/2013 19:56 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 133

You deserved it 4 669

By gng2fckngkilluyoufckngfckr - 03/08/2012 18:31 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. I also found out that my best friend knew about it all along. When I confronted him, he tried to justify the betrayal by saying that she paid him to keep quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 446

You deserved it 1 981

Next

Top comments

codisimus 0

Monday 27 September 2010 9:16

you should get head before you dump her

ILoveMyXbox 0

Monday 27 September 2010 9:10

drinking certainly brings out the truth!

Comments

HustnWeHavAProbl 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 4:27

Ooo tht blows...yes, pun intended

roobin302 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 8:47

messed up.

lalagurl11 6

Monday 25 July 2011 1:27

that made me horny

badactor009 0

Monday 25 July 2011 10:40

So what? Consider it practice for the main event. Were you looking for a girl with no experience at all? At least she got a positive review. Besides, aside from health issues, do you think she should be concerned about any head you gave or received? Do yourself a favor and get over it.

pippacrawford 4

Thursday 8 September 2011 22:17

You should get your gf to give you head, and then when you've finished, go "(insert ex? friend's name) was right, babe. You do give good head. Now get the **** out!"

stevenmx86 7

Monday 28 November 2011 1:40

By getting a head from her?

LostDN 9

Wednesday 30 March 2016 17:54

You picked her and didn't know her your fault

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 15 971

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 70

The Top

Today, I've paid over £15k a year to have 1.5 years of my 3 year BSc online. All we can do is sit in a tiny room (genuinely worse than Nordic prisons) and watch "online lectures", i.e. paying enormous amounts of money for depression, boredom, loneliness, and information that can be gathered from Youtube or Wikipedia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 167

Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 379

Today, my mom asked me out of the blue if I was ever going to consider getting married. It wasn't until after the conversation ended that I remembered my siblings are all either single like I am, or incapable of having children. I am my mother's last hope of becoming a grandma, and she reminds me all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 123

Today, somebody broke in to my house and stole my laptop, which had years worth of family photos on it. Where was I when it was stolen? At Staples, buying supplies that included CDs to finally back up my pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 778

You deserved it 5 371

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 426

You deserved it 5 267

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 628

You deserved it 3 379