How's the project going? By Lewis - 11/12/2018 18:00 Fine... I guess? I agree, your life sucks 241 You deserved it 102 Share Tweet Share
Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 632 You deserved it 44 525
Today, I had been looking forward to sex all day, got home, got my husband's engine running, got naked on top of him, violently sneezed at his new aftershave, and started my period all over his balls. We were centimetres away from sex and now have to wait 3 to 7 days. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 097 You deserved it 450
Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML I agree, your life sucks 50 645 You deserved it 11 282
Today, I had sex with my landlord. As if that's not bad enough, my period hit, and I bled everywhere. His place is a total bloodbath and I'm worried that he's going to ask me to pay for the damage. FML I agree, your life sucks 479 You deserved it 1 268
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML I agree, your life sucks 77 172 You deserved it 4 488
Today, after months of searching for any kind of work, I finally received a call. It was McDonald's, but they said I was overqualified for the position. I thought they took anyone with a heart rate. Apparently not. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 719 You deserved it 116